Florida State Senator Says We Need to "Vaccinate" Against Sharia

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"The next wave of threats against America after Sharia? EL CHUPACABRA!!"

Republican state senator in Florida Alan Hays is a hero!

Hays, who once filed legislation to keep public buses from stopping on streets because one time he got stuck in traffic behind one, says Islam is gonna Sharia Law all up the State of Florida like polio.

And if Sharia Law is the polio, Alan Hays is the cure.

The South Florida chapter of the Council on American Islamic Relations posted a video on Friday of Hero Hays likening Sharia law to a "dreadful disease" that needs to be spiked with the needle that is filled with the 'MURICA FREEDOM RIGHTS DON'T TREAD ON ME! vaccine.

In the video, Hays speaks of a bill he's sponsoring that will keep Sharia law -- the moral and religious code of Islam -- from infecting the rights of every American even though it's not a threat in any way, shape, or form.

Yep!

There has never, ever, been any example of even a shred of a hint of Sharia law being implemented into law anywhere in United States ever.

IT'S WORKING ALREADY!

Hays lays down the smackdown on the invisible boogeyman Sharia Law body-snatchers invasion in his explanation:

When you were a child, did your parents have you vaccinated against different diseases? That was a preemptive gesture on their part for which I would hope you're very thankful. And this is very similar to that. Your mom and dad would not want you to get sick from one of those dreadful diseases, and I don't want any American to be in a Florida courtroom and have their constitutional rights violated by any foreign law. That's it. It's not that complicated.

That's right, Alan Hays Haters. This is a preemptive strike agains foreign invaders invading our rights. Just like when your parents had you vaccinated for diseases that would cripple and kill you.

Sharia is exactly like polio, in that it will screw up your central nervous system and cause paralysis! Haven't you been watching all them YouTube videos that also inform us that Obama's secret service detail are actually aliens??

Assault weapons bans?

Abortion rights?

Gay marriage?

Repealing of Stand Your Ground?

Pfffft.

Abolishing a religious law that is in no way or has shown absolutely no threat of being a part of American law is where it's at.

Wake up, America!

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter



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6 comments
riverrat69
riverrat69 topcommenter

It's too late now, but we should have had a pre-emptive strike on teabag reactionary ignorance and stupidity. At least Asshole Allen West is gone, for now.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius topcommenter

I would support Sharia Law if it shut up the fucking Christians.

Now that's a project I, as a militant atheist, could wholeheartedly support.

Slackology
Slackology topcommenter

So.... Christopher Joseph, are you saying you would support Sharia Law in Florida?

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

@1blackhand1 Tea baggers, we have something that prevents ANY religious law from taking over anything.  Its called the Constitution. That includes all this christian mythology that keeps slipping into legislation and the myth of Sharia Law that no one is trying to enforce other than in paranoid delusions. 

Bebep
Bebep

@1blackhand1 Time to take off the tinfoil hat and stop giving Pink Floyd a bad name with that avatar.

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