Vatican Cardinals Elect Pope Francis I; Ten Best Twitter Reactions

By Chris Joseph Wed., Mar. 13 2013 at 3:33 PM

The Vatican cardinals finally decided to agree on who the new pope is going to be and elected Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina to be the new pontiff.

He will be called Pope Francis I.

Francis is 76 years old and reportedly only has one lung.

Because, if the last pope taught us anything, it's that it's important to have a young guy with good health.

And, as it is with everything in our lives when historical moments unfold, we took to Twitter to find people's best, most honest reactions.

Here now are the ten best Twitter reactions to the new Holy Man himself:

The ballots don't make very much smoke, so the cardinals usually toss in a few child abuse records to liven things up. #vaticanfacts
-- Rich Abdill (@rabdill) March 12, 2013

white smoke means they've chosen a new pope? i don't get it. did they burn the old one? #kindamean
-- Mark Duplass (@MarkDuplass) March 13, 2013

I hope the new Pope takes up the most pressing needs of the church, like more pretty marble statues and a Crusade against infidels.
-- Old Hoss Radbourn (@OldHossRadbourn) March 13, 2013

Tags:

Pope Francis I

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Mozart99

very funny. i heard some comedienne this week saying she thought it was the same guy who was pope before. onion said he was going to retire at the end of march, making him the first pope to abdicate since february

KennyPowersII topcommenter

Hey Frankie. Don't drink the tea.

KennyPowersII topcommenter

any details on his contract? Length, options, performance clauses, guaranteed ? Did he sign with Nike or Adidas?

Mozart99

@KennyPowersII i can't remember the exact word so i will just ask if there is a moral's clause

hooligan2

2 Like

Nope, it's pretty funny actually!

winsomelosesome

Some things are just not that funny. Maybe you can find some gay bashing tweets to liven up the day. Love your tolerance.

chrisjoseph13 writertopcommenter

1 Like

@winsomelosesome It's amazing to me how you keep trolling this place without relenting and every time you do, you look dumber and more out of touch with things.

You are a modern miracle.

The Missing Link, if you will.

winsomelosesome

You're a dickhead who never comes into contact with opposing views. Keep chatting it up with like-minded fools like yourself. Elitist "I'm smarter than you" sycophants. Plus, you push my buttons.

It's amazing to me, also, that I keep "trolling" (God I hate that word, so pejorative) here too. I keep hoping I will find a kernel of open mindedness. My bad.

chrisjoseph13 writertopcommenter

@winsomelosesome Just trying to help. Seriously. Not kidding or being sarcastic.

Do whatever you want, Sunshine.

winsomelosesome

I wrote this long, long, long reply but it wouldn't post. I'll break it down.

1) Stop telling me to get off this site.

2) Stop telling me which battles to fight and that I'm stupid for the ones I choose.

3) Get some balance, man. That's why I come here...to hear opposing points of view.

4.) Stop telling me not to take things personally when you do most times.

5) We disagree. If that's a pain in your ass, so be it....You buy your ink in buckets, man.

6) I could give a shit about anyone's life style choice but I don't take the opportunity to take a shot at it whenever presented.

7) Have a great weekend...I will.

winsomelosesome

I wrote this long, long, long reply but it wouldn't post so I'll break it down.

1) Stop telling me to get off this site.

2) Stop telling me which battles to fight and that I'm stupid for the ones I choose.

3) Get some balance, man. That's why I come here...to hear opposing points of view.

4.) Stop telling me not to take things personally when you do most times.

5) We disagree. If that's a pain in your ass, so be it.

6) Enjoy the weekend. I will

chrisjoseph13 writertopcommenter

@winsomelosesome Nobody is mocking someone's right to worship whatever deity they see fit.

What is being mocked here is a corrupt system -- with a long, long, long list of abuses and cover ups and protection of these abuses (and yes, an institution that says gay people will burn in a fiery pit for all eternity)

HUGE difference between mocking people's lifestyle choices (religion included) and a corrupt establishment.

Apples and pineapples here, WinSam.

But then again you've never been good at discernment or picking your fights, because you're so bent out of shape and wanting to tell me I'm a dickhead because BY JOVE I DISAGREE WITH YOU ON THINGS.

Seriously, man. Life's too short. Don't waste your time here if it gets you so mad. Live, man.

Live.

winsomelosesome

The connection is how easy it is to mock religion yet some people on this site get furious if there's a hint of mockery about Gay rights. That's all. Tolerance seems to be a one way street.

KennyPowersII topcommenter

@winsomelosesome Don't understand the connection. Seems to most that it's the religious folks who have the biggest problem with gays and their deserved rights.