Marco Rubio Pledges Opposition to Gun Legislature Because of Reasons!

Categories: Politics
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Balloons, bro. 

In his never-ending, undaunted quest to be the new face of the GOP by being the old face of the GOP, Marco Rubio will add to his nonbigoted hatred of gays, his marginalizing of women, and his denial of scientific fact ways by fighting off any and all attempts to pass gun legislation.

He signed a thing and everything to let everyone know he means business!

Rubio has pledged to join three other GOPer senators to filibuster any and all attempts at the government impugning on the Second Amendment with its diabolical scheme to stop people from buying AK-47s for hunting.

Rubes, along with Senate Republicans Rand Paul, Mike Lee, and Ted Cruz, all wrote a letter to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid saying that they oppose any legislation "with additional restrictions on the Second Amendment."

Charisma Boy! revealed said letter in a news release on his supercharismatic website.

Let's take a gander:

"We, the undersigned, intend to oppose any legislation that would infringe on the American people's constitutional right to bear arms, or on their ability to exercise this right without being subjected to government surveillance."

You tell em, RUUUBEZ! What right does the government have in telling people how to live their lives?? That is, unless you're one of them homosexuals who want to destroy everything by marrying each other. THAT'S the real danger threatening our American way of life! People wanting to get married and live private lives as happily wedded spouses that receive the rights and benefits of happily wedded spouses. BUT DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MAH GUNZ, GOVERNMENT OVERLORDS!

"The Second Amendment to the Constitution protects citizens' right to self-defense."

Self-defense is important! It's American! The Founding Fathers said so! Unless, of course, you're a lady. Have you ever heard of a Founding Mother? Didn't think so.

"It speaks to the history's lesson that government cannot be in all places at all times, and history's warning about the oppression of a government that tries."

Damn right. When the Founding Fathers wrote the Second Amendment, which was basically giving Americans the right to own a musket so they could shoot people -- particularly British invaders -- if they illegally walked onto their goat farms, they also wrote it so that you and I could walk into a Walmart and buy that machine gun The Rock uses in the new GI Joe movie because it's supercool. What?? IT'S TOTALLY FOR HUNTING! (And for protecting my goats.)

Rubio himself added this erudite point:

"We should look for ways to keep firearms out of the hands of criminals and the mentally ill prone to misusing them, but I oppose legislation that will be used as a vehicle to impose new Second Amendment restrictions on responsible, law-abiding gun owners. We should work to reduce tragic acts of violence by addressing violence at its source, including untreated mental illness, the lack of adequate information-sharing on mental health issues, and the breakdown of the family."

Treating violence at its source! The finger of the hand of the arm of the person that pushes down on the trigger and blows away 20 children in an elementary school.

That's the real problem here. Mental illness needs to be seriously looked into, yes. But there is no absolutely zero room for possibly, in any way shape or form, compromise. Compromising is un-American!

It's mental illness and nothing else. Because anything else is an affront to Thomas Jefferson.

Because, when you peel it all down to the real nitty-gritty here, the real victim in all this is the gun.

Not the person being slaughtered by the gun.

That's just ludicrous.

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3 comments
dantevida
dantevida topcommenter

to those who support medical marijuana: go to www.pufmm.org print the petition (on one sheet, 2 sides) sign in blue ink, and mail. This will place it on the ballot for the next election. Also, volunteer if you want and donate if you can. I am a cancer survivor with a medical need. thanks

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

Ask Marky what he's packing in his Fanny Pack/Man Purse.

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

Well I suppose someone had to take up the criminal Alan Wests mantle..

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