Jeb Bush's Message of Acceptance Shockingly Falls Flat at CPAC

jeb cpac.jpg

Last week Marco Rubio spoke at the GOPers Paradise To Complain About The Black Fella, Them Freeloadin' Poor People, And Don't Touch My AK-47-Palooza (or CPAC, for short) where he basically told everyone that denying gay people simple civil rights doesn't at all make him a bigot, and that global warming is just an illooooosion.

On Friday, however, the Repubz got themselves a whole different kind of message from a whole different kind of possible contender for the 2016 run at the White House.

Jeb Bush delivered a speech about inclusion, acceptance, and took a jab at Mitt Romney's "47 percent" comments.

GOPers are still trying to figure out if Jeb is just kidding or if he pulled off the biggest trolling in the history of CPAC.

"I am here to tell you that there is no 'us' and 'them,'" Jeb! said. "We need to be the party of inclusion and acceptance."

Ha. Ha. Ha. Quit joshin' Jeb! Let's get back to talking about how we need to keep poor people from getting medical insurance and keeping the ladies in the kitchen where they belong.

"Never again, never again can the Republican simply write off certain segments of the society because we assume our principles have limited appeal," Jeb! continued. "They have broader appeal."

Wait. The Blacks, The Gays and The Poors vote too? We thought they were too lazy/too poor/too gay to do that stuff.

"It is not a validation of our conservative principles if we can only point to the increasingly rare individual who overcomes adversity and succeeds in America," Jeb! said. "Here's reality: if you're fortunate enough to count yourself among the privileged, much of the rest of the nation is drowning."

Drowning in all that free money the government gives them, amerite??? 

*pops collar*

*awkward high five that barely misses*

Jeb! continued:

"In our country today, if you're born poor, if your parents didn't go to college, if you don't know your father, if English isn't spoken at home, then the odds are stacked against you. You are more likely to stay poor today than at any other time since World War II."

Well, we all know who's fault THAT is, right?

Not the guy that promised a certain war against a certain regime that had a certain type of weapon would only cost $50 billion, but instead has cost the country $2 trillion with interest. Nope. Not him. Because blaming him is, like, soooo 2008. LOL right??

Of course, predictably, the GOPers didn't take too kindly to having a talkin-to by Dubya's lil bro, and Jeb!'s speech was accepted with a big fat meh by those in attendance.

According to Politico's James Hohmann:

The problems with this approach were on display Friday night - when a lecture he delivered at CPAC's Reagan Dinner fell painfully flat.

Eschewing a teleprompter, Bush read his 19-minute lecture from a black binder that felt like was trying to channel former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman. Many in the audience thumbed through BlackBerrys while he talked. He received only a polite, scattered standing ovation.

Two things: Marco Rubio was the clear winner at The CPAC, because fuck librullllz, man.

And two: OF COURSE Republicans would use BlackBerry's. 

Because, 20th Century > 21st Century. Derp.


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14 comments
frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

MARCO RUBIO will at some point realize he is a dupe and nothing more than the token hispanic show-horse who will have to keep his brown-nosing firmly inserted .... or else

maybe it will be KARL ROVE himself who will someday demand that RUBIO cut rove's grass for migrant wage once all rove's mexicans quit and go democratic

otherwise RUBIO is riding the wave that will drown him

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

as for the "haves and have-nots" well look at daddy warbucks cheney who walked with $100,ooo,ooo bonus from halliburton ...... and compare THAT ..... to the military gold star families of the 4,500 who lost their lives in IRAQ and some of those families, too many, now today living on FOOD STAMPs or the disabled young men and women who came home mentally and physically broken and are now today denied proper medical attention or financial support because of budgetary constraints

the conservatives in the GOP will walk away from obligations to military veterans BUT these same conservative GOP leaders will spend billions on political campaigns of nitwits and buffoons

remember the last time we had GOP leadership pushing an agenda with their experts and statesmen and scholars WAS the iraq war ......they gave speeches at the UN and had charts and graphs and power-point presentations which ALL showed how wrong HANS BLIX chief weapons inspector at the UN was

and now today the GOP leadership is marching nitwits and buffoons around again giving speeches and making public appearances and writing books ..................all claiming to have the answers

we won't be fooled again

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

the party of stupid: stupid is as stupid does

it was a strategic VICTORY for a certain governor...........CHRISTIE of NJ................not to be publicly associated in a formal way with the nitwits at CPAC

basically, along with FAILN PALIN et al, the CPAC gathering will be seen as a collection of LOSERs, giving lip service to ways to get the support of hispanic and women voters

riverrat69
riverrat69 topcommenter

The Jebster.  Just another of many Repub liars trying to flip flop his way to the top.

Slackology
Slackology topcommenter

Unfortunately, Jeb did not fall flat on his face with a massive cardiac....

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

Sounds like another Bush is trying to run for office again. 

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

@smdrpepper Sure do! But will he even get past the primaries with his revolutionary message of acceptance and inclusion???*







*No.

winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

Point THIS.  I'll stick to my crayons.  You guys are way too intellectual for me.

winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

My bad.  Hillary/Michele...Dream Ticket.

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