Miami Heat Reminded the Indiana Pacers Whose World It Is

wade pacers 310.jpg

The reaction among the experts, media, and haterz the world over after the Indiana Pacers had roughed up and beaten the Miami Heat in the teams' first two meetings this season was that the Pacers clearly had Miami's number and that the Heat might as well go the way of the Montreal Expos and no longer exist because Indiana was now king of the castle.

So, for their third matchup of the season Sunday night, the Heat decided it was time to stop screwing around and clubbed the Pacers unconscious with a pillowcase full of bars of soap and then stuffed their lifeless body into a wood chipper Fargo-style in a 105-91 victory.

Just days before Sunday's hoedown, Pacers swingman Paul George told reporters that he just could not wait to play the game.

"I'm real excited for this game," George said. "It'll be like Christmas Eve; I won't be able to sleep."

And then Christmas morning came, but instead of finding that super-cool G.I. Joe action figure they asked Santa for, the Pacers instead found a pile of shit left there by a drifter named Joe who broke into the house the night before.

Led by a nut-demolishing performance by Dwyane Wade and his 23 points, the Heat put the kibosh on any hopes the Pacers had on making a "statement" heading into the latter part of the regular season.

D-Wade, who has been leaving piles of NBA corpses in his wake lately, was a human heat-seeking missile in Indiana's passing lanes, getting seven steals with a tireless energy we haven't seen from MV3 since his early playing days, when Shaq gave him that stupid "Flash" nickname.

Wade simply murdered Pacer ass Sunday night, wreaking havoc by forcing Indiana into turnovers and squeezing through the Pacers fortified tree-branch-like defense in the paint and slinging up and making shots in that crazy acrobatic HOW IN THE SWEET SUMMER DICKMAS DID HE DO THAT??? style that he excels at.

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4 comments
unowhooo
unowhooo

The Heat made them look like a bunch of old farts,have to rename them the" Indiana Pacemakers"

paul112
paul112

this was a good one, thanks chris

kabongo747
kabongo747

This was one of the funniest pieces I have read in awhile. Still laughing! I guess is also because I am a Heat fan. You might get some hate for this writing though. Comparing Hibbert to a giraffe on ice was hilarious. lol

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