Five Florida Politicians Who Hate Women: Happy International Women's Day!
Today is International Women's Day! Yes, it's the one day of the year we allow the dames to come out of the kitchen or put the baby down so we can recognize them for all the lady things they do.
We love you, ladies. You're real swell.
But because it's enough already with asking to be paid the same salary as a man or be allowed to treat your body as you see fit, we present to you the top five Florida politicians who hate you:
Now get back in there and make me a steak!:
5.) Sen. Greg Evers
Ah, good ol' Greg. When he's not too busy dry-humping his guns, Evers is out there to make sure you ladies don't go and get abortions, even if you are the victim of incest or human trafficking or rape. In fact, he sponsored the brand-spanking-new bill that is up for a vote so you don't do that.
Now don't go and whine about it. If you hadn't worn that sexy outfit and instead had been cooking the turkey dinner and cleaning the bathroom like God intended, you wouldn't have been out there getting all raped and stuff.
4.) Rep. Charles Van Zant
Rep. Van Zant is just like Uncle Greg up there, only douchier (if that's possible). While Evers looks to push his NO ABORTIONS EVAR bill in the Senate, Van Zant is doing the same in the House. But Van Zant is old-school, a lover of history, if you will. And he would love to make things in America just as they used to be way back before Roe v. Wade was a thing and ladies just could not have an abortion (unless the baby was a retard or something, according to Van Zant). Also, he was inspired by a recent Alabama Supreme Court decision that expanded the definition of a "child" to include the "unborn."
V.Z. introduced his bill on the same day Roe v. Wade was celebrating its 40th anniversary. COINCIDENCE??
V-Zant says yeah, totally a coincidence. But he's also glad it fell on the same day. Because, Alabama ladies know what's up.