A Ban on Bongs and Abortions?: The Nine Most Attention-Grabbing Bills in the Florida Legislature

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The Florida Legislative sessions got kicked off this week, and since this is Florida, there's no lack of fodder to get super riled up about and make loud angry noises and be an anonymous tough guy in the comments sections of blogs and on Twitter.

Lawmakers will look at and vote on about 2,000 bills and resolutions, with only about 300 bills winning final passage. From medical marijuana to a ban on plastic bags, there are plenty o' issues that affect you, Florida.

Here now are the NINE MOST IMPORTANT BILLS that will be voted on in the coming months:

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9.) Bongs Ban: Ex-crackhead Rep. Darryl Rouson believes that The Pot is a gateway drug to things like The Crack. Therefore, he wants a ban on all bongs, glass bowls, roach clips, and other things that can be used as a marijuana smoking device, such as a two-liter bottle and duct tape (although, how these things can be policed is anyone's guess). This boils down to retail stores not being able to sell these items.

"If we can make people drive to Georgia and Alabama and South Carolina to get fireworks, they can drive to get these utensils of death," he recently told us.

The bill seeks a misdmeanor on first offenses and third-degree felonies after that.

Stop being... hold on... [bubbling noises]... Stop being such a buzzkill, D-Rous.


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8.) Repeal of Death Penalty: As it stands, we here in Florida lead the nation in sending people to death row. And it's pretty darned wasteful, with at least one study estimating that the legal costs for inmates on death row add up to more than $20 million for every execution -- while life in prison is a fraction of that.

This bill specifically seeks to repeal the death penalty for capital felonies and to put a stop to putting to death inmates with mental retardation as well as deleting provisions relating to preservation of DNA evidence in death penalty cases.


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