Marco Rubio Sells Water Bottles, Raises More Than $100,000

Categories: Politics
rubio water bottle.jpg

Marco Rubio reeeaalllyyy wants you to to see that he triumphs over embarrassing this shit out of himself on live-national television in front of millions of viewers tragedy with this whole thirsty talking guy fiasco from last week.

First he tweeted out a photo of his Poland Spring water bottle moments after his gaff, then he went on TV and told people he was thirsty, so whattayagonnado? har har har, then he inexplicably blamed the whole thing on God and his Fozzy the Bear-like sense of humor.

Now Rubio's Watergate has gone plaid with the release of RUBIO water bottles that people can purchase via one of his PACs.

Rubio's PAC is called Reclaim America, because of course it is.

Reclaim America started selling the bottles the day after Rubio forgot to drink water moments before he went to talk on live TV without being able to stop.

The bottles, which have RUBIO written on them in big red letters, are actually a give-away when people donate at least $25 to the PAC. According to Reclaim America, 3,450 water bottles have been given away so far, raising more than $100,000.

The group's website asks for donations with the message that tries to be clever, but ultimately makes no goddamn sense:

"Send the liberal detractors a message that not only does Marco Rubio inspire you...he hydrates you too."

Let the world know that Marco Rubio's golden showers are a refreshing alternative to the liberal detractors!

The campaign seems to be working. And what better way to raise money than by reminding people your guy made an ass of himself on television?

Of course, the main point of it all is that people are having a good laugh over the gaff, which is distracting everyone from the message Rubio ultimately delivered in cottonmouth.

Basically, that Obama is a mean, mean guy, the GOPers still give no shits about the environment, continue to insist that not raising taxes is the answer to everything (unless it's something they need, of course) and basically every other idea the majority of America shot down (pun!) back in November when Romney and White Rubio ran for president.

Also, the fact that Rubio voted no for the Violence Against Women Act hours before getting his thirst on.

But yea, twenty five bucks for a water bottle will remind us all of that.

Drink it up!

Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter.




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2 comments
icculus17
icculus17 topcommenter

and is the "reclaiming america" water bottle even made in the US?

smdrpepper
smdrpepper

I give him a couple of more weeks of lifespan before you never hear about Rubio outside of Florida again. 

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