LeBron James Refuses to Stop Being Awesome
Thirty points and 60 percent shooting.
In six straight games.
That's all LeBron's been up to lately.
No one else has ever done that in the history of the NBA.
And so, LeBron James is in the record books.
Because it's important to have his face-melting, carnage-inducing, soul-crushing dominant feats of awesome on record to prove to future generations that all the stories they've heard are true.
In last night's 117-104 win over the Portland Trailblazers, James went 11-of-15 for 30 points.
Yet he didn't even start the game by taking shots. He started it out by dishing out assists like Oprah giving away cars to her studio audience.
LeBron recorded six assists in the first quarter -- the most for any player in a quarter in Miami Heat franchise history.
In the past six games, James has gone GOD MODE and detonated opponents with brain-cramping, ball-smacking efficiency, making 66 of 92 shots.
And, when his team needed to break through and win the game against a feisty Blazers team that was shooting lights out, LeBron responded with one of his patented thunderbolt slam dunks.
With the game tied at 99, James swept past Sasha Pavlovic, immediately turning him into a pillar of suspended ash like one of the victims of Pompeii, drove baseline, and flushed down the dunk.
He then let out a primal scream to the Heat faithful losing their minds in the stands.
Said Blazers forward Nicholas Batum on LeBron after the game, "You have to play him tough, and we did that. But, I mean, we're just human. He's not."
For his part, LeBron kept things in perspective while marveling at how amazeballs he's playing right now.
"I'm at a loss for words," James said. "Like I say over and over, I know the history of the game. I know how many unbelievable players who came through the ranks, who paved the way for me and my teammates. And for me to be in the record books by myself with such a stat -- any stat -- it's big-time."
Big time indeed.
Your righteous badassery is in the record books forever, LBJ. Like the Iliad with the Trojan War, except with dunks, three-pointers, blocked shots, and breaking NBA defenders' ankles.