Power Rank Friday: DUI Busts, Crank Profs, and More Anus Tattoo, Please

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times'
crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., walking down South Beach last Monday night, calculating the ratio of weeping Irishmen compared with redneck testicles, multiplied to the Nth degree, twice.)

5. Florida Highway Patrol: As we told you over the holiday, police departments in South Florida opted not to put up traditional sobriety checkups. That doesn't mean the cops didn't snag drunk drivers. The FHP alone pulled over 550 Floridians between December 12 and January 2. According to the Sun-Sentinel, 82 arrests came in SoFlo.

4. James Tracy. If the Florida Atlantic University prof has proved anything this week, it's that even a no-name associate faculty member at a mid-range university most of America can't find on the map can be taken seriously as long as he says something offensively stupid. America! We'll see where Tracy takes his wannabe-Zinn act next. Hopefully, this will be the last time we'll have to type his name.

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