Carlos Gimenez, Al Lamberti, and Alligator Gods Conspire Against Duke Basketball

Categories: News

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm. (i.e., "Is that a rhino in the Magic Eye? Can you see the rhino? No, not a kiwi, a rhino. Just give me the damned vaporizer again, then.")

5. Alligator gods
Apparently, these are the go-to deities when you need to get rid of evidence in the Everglades. In what is one of the weirdest crime cases to fill up the recent police blotter, two men from Volusia County are currently on trial in Broward for the murder of Lorraine Hatzakorzian. After dismembering their victim and dumping the remains, each day they prayed to alligator gods that the body wouldn't be found.

4. Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Giménez
A Broward versus Miami-Dade prime-time fight was bound to happen again someday, but could the Dolphins training facility spark open hostilities? Ground war? Politico beef? The team is squeezing every municipality in sight for a new stadium, and this week Giménez made it perfectly clear that if Broward doesn't pony up, it shouldn't enjoy any of the benefits trickling out of the team. Translation: The Dolphins training facility, now in Davie, should be in Miami if Miami is paying the stadium bills.

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