LeBron James Outduels Kobe Bryant as Heat Defeat Lakers 99-90

Categories: Sports
lebron slam lakers 2.jpg

Whenever a showdown between LeBron James and Kobe Bryant goes down, the suddenly-not-all-that-important regular season becomes ALL IMPORTANT.

That's because Kobe apologists and Laker fans crawl out of the woodwork to remind everyone that he has RINGZZZ and is so badass he nicknamed himself Mamba.

But then there's LeBron, who may not have as many RINGZZ as Mamba at the moment but looks to be well on his way.

And last night, with his movements precise, his defense instinctive, his form flawless and graceful as it is deadly, LeBron proved that he is the best player on the planet and that Cobradick eats Mamba and shits out cookies.

For all of Bryant's amazeballs talents and god-like ability to score, the main difference between he and LeBron has always been efficiency.

That fact gets lost in Kobe's game. It's theatrical, explosive, and bombastic. Kobe's flair for the dramatic and his ability to hit shots seemingly at will makes for exciting basketball.

The fourth quarter was exhibit A, when Bryant single-handedly led the Lakers back from a nine-point deficit late in the game when by throwing down a couple of three pointers and jumpers to the delight and bloodthirsty roar of the Los Angeles faithful while making Marv Albert jizz his old-man pants on live television.

"He just needs one shot to go down, Marv," color analyst Steve Kerr quipped excitedly after Kobe hit TWO WHOLE SHOTS IN A ROW. "And he'll get hot. His confidence is tremendous [REQUISITE MICHAEL JORDAN COMPARISON]."

But then LeBron's game, which basically bludgeons his enemies in the face with a ferocious tranquility, gets chalked up to "physical specimen" by penisheads like Kerr.

Yet, it completely obliterates the myth of "hotness" with a game so precise, so surgical, the American Medical Association should look into making him an official physician.

Cobradick, MD.

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