Broward County Name Change: Eight Options That Are Way Better
The Other Hollywood County
Yes, we know. Tourists, we've heard. In this land, another realm called Hollywood doth exist. And yes, they're all like, "We have models, movies, and drug-addled people who actually are talented!" But then we're all like, "Do you have the Pride of the Seminole Nation at your doorstep?" On the Res 4 life, motherfuckaaaahhhhh.
There are few places in the United States that have such a powerful, metaphysicial pull on the nation's washed-up. They come for beaches, but not hassles. Palm Beach County -- who's got money for that? Miami -- no hablo espanol, Pedro. You know who we're talking about. Long scraggly hair. Too much cocaine/marijuana/opium/smack/bath salts in the past. Prowling the Hollywood Boardwalk, probably selling shit no one in existence needs.