BCS Championship: Why We're Not Rooting For Either Alabama or Notre Dame Tonight

Touchdown Jesus: It's really the ultimate symbol of pretentiousness and douche. It's not enough that these shitdicks have to have gold helmets. No, they need a giant fucking painting of Jesus Christ looking over their home games every week to remind the opponent and the football watching nation that they were going straight to hell for not being Catholic, and for not rooting for the Fighting Irish. Also for not sucking Knute Rockne's dick like everyone else.

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Nick Saban: This dipshit is the most hated man in all of South Florida sports. And for good reason. Not only did he choose Daunte Culpepper over Drew Brees to quarterback our beloved Miami Dolphins -- thus sending them further into a spiral of never ending suck -- he continuously blames the Dolphins medical staff over the decision -- as if he had final say over every little thing that happened on the team, except for choosing the most important player. And, even with that, he insists that he left the team in "good shape." Saban also left a legacy of being a total and complete dick with the Fins and its staff. One story has it that a secretary once complimented his hair cut, and Saban responded by having someone tell her to never address him personally. Another incident includes Saban losing his shit over a member of his staff misplacing his Little Debbie snack cakes. Also, his daughter was sued last year for beating up one of her sorority sisters, because the dipshit apple does not fall far from the dipshit tree. Saban famously lied to everyone and then skipped out the back door to coach Alabama when he realized his magic touch didn't extend to the pro level. And by "magic touch," we mean, "not being able to yell at and bully professional players like he does kids fresh out of high school." Super Genius? More like Super Cock.






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3 comments
winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

Edwin Pope once wrote about Alabama fans attending an Orange Bowl game,  "They arrive with $10 and a white shirt.......... And don't change either one."

FatHand
FatHand

I like that Chris Joseph is a NewTimes writer that actually knows and cares about South Florida sports, and doesn't still refer to Lebron James as an asshole. Other NT writers should take note.

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