BCS Championship: Why We're Not Rooting For Either Alabama or Notre Dame Tonight

The Whole Catholics vs. Convicts Thing: The famous 1988 game between Notre Dame and the University if Miami was dubbed this after some Notre Dame fans, filled with the typical Fightin' Irish pretentiousness mixed with a tinge of racism, made some shirts with the Catholics vs. Convicts slogan on them. The press had a field day with it, because Notre Dame is the bastion of football excellence and tradition, while the U is filled with players who grew up in places like Liberty City, which naturally made them convicted criminals. Even then-Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz got in on the fun when he famously quipped that the slogan was inaccurate because a lot of his players aren't Catholics. Get it? It's funny because it not-so-subtly implies that Miami's players really are convicted felons! Good one, Sylvester the Cat!

Alabama Has A Long Rich History of Being Racist Assholes: From the earliest faculty members owning slaves, to coach Bear Bryant refusing to recruit black players, to George Wallace's infamous Stand In The Schoolhouse Door incident in an attempt to keep black students from registering for classes per his promise of "segregation now, tomorrow and forever," the University of Alabama has pretty much been the alma matter for racist assholes. Even recently, the university made some news when some racist asshole said racist asshole things to a black student. This led to the racist student being disciplined, which led to some other anonymous racist asshole writing racist asshole things on a campus wall with chalk. To this day, Bama's Greek-letter social organizations remain segregated. Steely Dan knew well what they spoke of when they wrote that the Crimson Tide were "cracker assholes with a grandiose name," in their song Deacon Blues. Because the Crimson Tide has a long rich history of being really, really, ridiculously racist assholes.