Unaccounted-For Ballots Turn Up in Broward

Categories: Politics
broward ballots.jpg

Whoops.

Exactly one week since the election happened, turns out 963 ballots that no one knew existed have apparently been discovered.

So just what happened? The Broward County Canvassing Board was told that someone put the ballots in the wrong place.

Because, FLORDA!

Nearly a thousand unaccounted-for ballots were put in the wrong place, like when your mom puts your underwear in your sock drawer. Just like that.


According to officials, this shouldn't be a big deal and shouldn't change any of the outcomes of the races that have already been unofficially declared (whatever the hell that means).

Dania Beach candidate Chickie Brandimarte, who is in a supertight race that hasn't been called yet, is a tad upset. "How can you lose them?" she said "This is terrible."

Indeed it is.

Sure it's a complicated thing to keep track of thousands of pieces of paper, and there's always going to be a glitch here and there -- which is why elections take weeks to be certified.

But, because this is Florida, any time there's a hiccup, everyone's butt clenches up and things hang in the balance.

Also, everyone laughs at our ineptness. So there's that.

Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes says not to worry, though. The final certification isn't until November 18, which means they have at least five more days to count these rediscovered ballots and then lose them again.


florida gonna florida.jpg



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2 comments
biologixco
biologixco

No one is laughing.

Except for the rest of the World.

Florida makes America look bad.

Can we just calve it off and give to Cuba, or something>?

WritersWithCats
WritersWithCats

Florida is THIS close to also being a verb, folks. =)

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