The Five Greatest Games in Dolphins-Patriots History
4.) The Robot Destroys the Patriots Defense (December 6, 2009)
OK, so this one doesn't immediately come to mind when you think Dolphins-Patriots. But it was either this game or the Doug Flutie's dropkick game. But fuck Doug Flutie with a garden gnome. We're going with the Day the Robot Chad Henne Dropkicked Tom Brady in the Cunt Game.
Things didn't start off so swell for the Fins in this one. On their first drive of the game, Randy Moss and Tom Brady flung a sock full of pennies at Miami's collective nards with a quick-strike 58-yard touchdown that seemed to signal we were in for a long afternoon. New England jumped to a quick 14-0 lead. And yet, just when you thought the Patriots were going to drop 50-plus on the Fins and lounge in the other guys' stadium while sipping frozen daiquiris and making out with their girlfriends, the Dolphins dipped their balls in the slushy machine and proclaimed, "Um, yeah... This shit ain't over yet."
Down 21-10, Chad Henne led Miami to back-to-back scoring drives, including a laser-accurate pass to Brian Hartline in the back of the end zone. Down 21-19 with just 3:44 left in the game, the Robot oiled up his gigantic metallic balls and proceeded to make mincemeat of the Patriots' defense. Henne led Miami on a ten-play, 51-yard drive that culminated in Dan Carpenter's go-ahead field goal with 1:02 left to play.
The clincher was the end, when Brady was trying to lead the Patriots into field goal range for a last second win. With 42 seconds left, Cameron Wake plowed through the offensive line, and mauled Brady, treating him like Bruce Willis did those German dudes in Die Hard, and forcing Captain Doucher to throw an errant pass that sailed right into the waiting arms of linebacker Channing Crowder. Game over. Dolphins 22, Patriots 21.