The Five Greatest Games in Dolphins-Patriots History

4.) The Robot Destroys the Patriots Defense (December 6, 2009)

tom brady on knees.jpg

OK, so this one doesn't immediately come to mind when you think Dolphins-Patriots. But it was either this game or the Doug Flutie's dropkick game. But fuck Doug Flutie with a garden gnome. We're going with the Day the Robot Chad Henne Dropkicked Tom Brady in the Cunt Game.

Things didn't start off so swell for the Fins in this one. On their first drive of the game, Randy Moss and Tom Brady flung a sock full of pennies at Miami's collective nards with a quick-strike 58-yard touchdown that seemed to signal we were in for a long afternoon. New England jumped to a quick 14-0 lead. And yet, just when you thought the Patriots were going to drop 50-plus on the Fins and lounge in the other guys' stadium while sipping frozen daiquiris and making out with their girlfriends, the Dolphins dipped their balls in the slushy machine and proclaimed, "Um, yeah... This shit ain't over yet."

Down 21-10, Chad Henne led Miami to back-to-back scoring drives, including a laser-accurate pass to Brian Hartline in the back of the end zone. Down 21-19 with just 3:44 left in the game, the Robot oiled up his gigantic metallic balls and proceeded to make mincemeat of the Patriots' defense. Henne led Miami on a ten-play, 51-yard drive that culminated in Dan Carpenter's go-ahead field goal with 1:02 left to play.

The clincher was the end, when Brady was trying to lead the Patriots into field goal range for a last second win. With 42 seconds left, Cameron Wake plowed through the offensive line, and mauled Brady, treating him like Bruce Willis did those German dudes in Die Hard, and forcing Captain Doucher to throw an errant pass that sailed right into the waiting arms of linebacker Channing Crowder. Game over. Dolphins 22, Patriots 21.


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20 comments
hurriphin302
hurriphin302

When was the game where we held Ol New Line Cinema to a goose egg, and Brady was about to get his shit knocked out??

PerRidere
PerRidere

You guys have been insignificant for so long that I'd forgotten what assholes Miami homers can be!  Must be from the lack of chowdah in your diet!

G_Nazari
G_Nazari

@byChrisJosepH LOOK AT OWAH HONAHED TRAAAADITION OF STEALIN' VICTAHREEEZ BY CHEATIN OWAH WAY TAH WINS, YA FACKIN CAWK SACKAHHHS! LMAO!! :)

ABrooklynFin
ABrooklynFin

@byChrisJoseph great work as always but...Wildcat born on plane from Arizona, not plane to NE. (Sorry to be that guy) *adjusts nerd glasses

rizoboy
rizoboy

@byChrisJoseph what an awesome collection…that last game was amazing. I miss #13.

Krecinos
Krecinos

sawwwxxx #fuckemall "@byChrisJoseph WEAH THA GREATEST FOOTBAWWL TEAM ON THA PLAANET YA FACKIN QUEEAH!! GO CELTIKKKKS! http://t.co/59KiZpSr

vorhese81
vorhese81

@byChrisJoseph WEAH GAT THA BESS BEAH AND CHOAWDA! BRAYDY GONNA FUX YA MOTHA AND GOO SOOAX TOO ASSHOLZZ!

ggghhh654321
ggghhh654321

Ha, this should be titled the 'the four times the shit ass dolphins have lucked out beating the greatest team on the planet in the last ten years and one game in the snow from the jurassic era that miami is still butt hurt about." Now that's a title! Go Pats!!!

PhilliesDoll
PhilliesDoll

@byChrisJoseph ‘Irving Fryer was pointing in the wrong direction. God was on the field, wearing number 13.’ That was beautiful. *wipes tear*

ipeneIope
ipeneIope

@byChrisJoseph !!!! Love this! Great read!

PhilliesDoll
PhilliesDoll

@byChrisJoseph This had better include the ‘94 season opener and the 2000 AFC East clincher!

julioruano
julioruano

@byChrisJoseph crazy to see stats like 474 yds and 5 tds. now everyone gets cray with 200 yds 1 td and no turnovers.

hurriphin302
hurriphin302

What year was the game where we held them to a goose egg, and Brady was about to get his shit knocked off by a Dolphin fan?

ABrooklynFin
ABrooklynFin

@byChrisJoseph if you knew the epic internal struggle before I hit send...going to need so much bourbon to drown my shame. #anyexcuse

rizoboy
rizoboy

@byChrisJoseph when I see these scenes, they reawaken that painful memory that he never won it all. He made me into a sports fan.

rizoboy
rizoboy

@byChrisJoseph him getting up from that sack, muddied…shot of him wiping sweat off his face on sideline….total warrior.

DatRoroKid
DatRoroKid

@byChrisJoseph @abrooklynfin - YEA AND ALSO YOU'RE STUPID. HOW'S THAT FOR A CORRECTION, MR WRITER GUY?!?!

byChrisJoseph
byChrisJoseph

@ABrooklynFin haha... no worries man. Thanks for the correction.

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