The Five Greatest Games in Dolphins-Patriots History

The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction.

This isn't the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams have much more serious beef with those asshole Jets). But there's plenty of animosity to be found.

For the most part, their history isn't prolific. Mainly because the Patriots were a shit team for most of their existence until Belichick and Brady came along.

But what the rivalry lacks in numbers it more than makes up in quality.

Here now are the Top Five Games in Dolphins-Patriots history:

5.) The Snowplow Game (December 12, 1982) 

For some reason, many consider this one of the greatest NFL games of all time. But, in reality, it was an abomination that was probably torture for people to watch back when there was no Redzone Channel. It was watch the Snowplow game, or watch NOTHING. The olden days were pure shit.

Anyway.....

With time running out, the score knotted up at 0-0, and New England in field goal position, then-Patriots coach Ron Meyer had a snowplow brought onto the field to make some green for kicker John Smith. With a dry patch to work with, Smith hit a 33-yarder to give New England the game, beginning a long and hallowed history of the Patriots cheating their way to victories. And, in true douchey Patriots fashion, the team has the actual snowplow displayed in their team hall of fame inside Gillette Stadium to tell the world that they can cheat and win and get away with it, because they're the Patriots. LOOK AT OWAH HONAHED TRAAAADITION OF STEALIN' VICTAHREEEZ BY CHEATIN OWAH WAY TAH WINS, YA FACKIN CAWK SACKAHHHS! LET'S GO SAWWWWKS!!

Don Shula was pissed about the incident and complained to the NFL. But, no dice. The Patriots were given the game anyway, and now everytime these two face off, we're all subjected to watching clips of this cock-and-balls game during every pre-game show everywhere.

Chris Berman loves to show the clip of the snowplow clearing off the ice and snow from the field and talks about it as if it was some mystical moment in the history of human people during a bygone era of quarterbacks that couldn't throw a football more than five yards. Truth is, this game was boring as fuck. Because of shitty New England weather, the two teams combined for 433 yards. Patriot's quarterback Steve Grogan ended the day with 13 passing yards. THIRTEEN. The final score was 3-0 for dicksake. Oh but it's one of the greatest moments in NFL history because it was super cold and the Patriots brought out a John Deere and cleared off the snow because New England in the winter is pure unadulterated ass.