Republicans and Their Love Children (I Can Has Contraceptive?)

philly.com

Leder's secret: love children. And sex parties.

Now, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. For one, Leder absolutely loves a good sex party. Reportedly, at one of these Hamptom parties, one of Leder's attendants, called a "chubby white-masthead," sunk into a pool with some tanned babe and then, after some "cavorting," proceeded to get dirty on a poolside chair. Leder House Rules!

All this zaniness happened, it seems, after Leder lost his mind following a messy divorce from his wife of 22 years. (She had an affair with their 23-year-old tennis coach.)

But wait. It gets better. Now the news has come out that in the throes of all this merry-making, Leder -- who already has three children in their teens and 20s -- fathered a love child. She's now almost 1.

"I became the proud parent of a beautiful little girl last January with my former girlfriend," he told the Post in a statement.

So Pulp has launched an inquiry into the strange correlation between love children and our Republican brothers. Granted the Dems (John Edwards and probably Bill Clinton) get bamboozled on this matter as well, but Republicans yet retain a mighty lead on copulating children out of wedlock and then getting into politics.

After extensive analysis, the Pulp has discovered this happened way, way more often before the invention of contraceptives, and, for once, Republicans have been strikingly consistent, at least on the matter of procreation: Down with Planned Parenthood = let's father love children.

Five most awesome examples:

gawker.com

Get to the chopper

Arnold

Last year, after two decades of marriage to Maria Shiver, Arnold left the governor's mansion in California and came out to his wife that he'd fathered a love child -- then a teenager -- with his Guatemalan maid, Mildred. According to his book, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, he was eloquent in the revelation.

"It was my screw-up," he told her. She divorced him.