Barack Obama Has Mostly Won Florida, but It's Still Not Official

Categories: Politics
obama jacket.jpg

It's Wednesday afternoon, the day after Election Tuesday, and Florida is still lagging on declaring a winner between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.

SORRY, YOU GUYS.

Although Obama won reelection after gaining 303 electoral votes, Florida continues to Florida things up by not knowing the final tally just yet.

(Because our governor is a moron, you see.)

Absentee ballots were still being counted well into Wednesday afternoon in Palm Beach, Broward, Miami-Dade, Duval, Pinellas, Duval, Escambia, Okaloosa and Putnam counties.

As it stands, Obama has a 49.9 percent to 49.3 percent lead over Romney in Florida.

But, thanks mainly to Ohio being called for the president at 11:14 Tuesday night, thus officially giving him the election, Florida and its 29 electoral votes ain't matter.

That's right, Rick Scott. Your creepy, boney ass just got bailed out by Ohio, of all places.

OHIO.

Think about that. 

All through Wednesday, Palm Beach County Canvassing Board members were zipping through about 8,000 absentee ballots, give or take a few that looked like they needed to be reviewed.

In Miami-Dade, officials were counting about 20,000 absentee ballots, while Pinellas County officials had to tally more than 9,000 absentee ballots to go through.

As of now, it's looking like Florida will indeed go to Obama (it just needs to be made official), like it did in 2008. It's pretty much nearly impossible that the remaining ballots will give Romney a lead over the president in Florida.

But the counting continues while the rest of America wonders if a "Cede Florida From the Union" amendment can be placed on the ballot in 2016.

No worries, though.

Obama is still president.

And for those bitching about the popular vote: The president won that too, picking up 50 percent to Romney's 48 percent. The president's vote total so far was 59,971,062, while Romney received 57,304,301 votes.

Anyway, good job, America.

We'll catch up with the rest of you soon!

Honest!

/stops counting to get back in line at Liv/



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