Palm Beach GOP Slackjawed: Biden Eats Private Ryan for Lunch

Categories: Broward News
GOP veep candidate Paul Ryan is known for his buffness and wonkery, but last night he managed an even greater feat, making Joe Biden look like a wise old man -- and not that old either. Obama's running mate was on fire, and Kid Ryan got burned.

Fire Ant was back in the lion's den -- actually, the Palm Beach Ale House -- to watch round two of the debates, surrounded by the county's GOP faithful, gathered there again to root for their side. A much lighter turnout than Obama-Romney, as it was a face-off between the second-best men. That's lighter as in "less well-attended," not in skin color. The PB GOP couldn't get much paler.

Two dozen strong they were, and though you'd expect them to come in juiced on Romney's unanimous TKO in Debate One, not to mention the buzz of the room's battery of screens set to Fox News, they were flat from the get-go and slackjawed by the end. Biden came on grinning ear-to-ear and ate their boy for lunch.

Biden fisticuffs.jpg

They had their moments, or course, but no momentum. An isolated handclap for The Kid's opening rant about the "unraveling of Obama's foreign policy" gave way to dead silence as Old Joe distilled the spiel to "a bunch of malarkey." The Kid claimed Obama has "no credibility" on Iran; Old Joe dismissed The Kid's "bluster" and "loose talk." Flustered, The Kid burrowed in and grew confused: Iran, with every passing year, is "spinning the centrifuges faster." Is it physics? Or metaphor?

On to the economy, and Old Joe dropped a bomb of his own, the "47%" bomb, the awful percentage of citizens the Mittster famously dismissed as leeches. The Kid reminded Old Joe that he too has a history of speaking from the hip. A fair shot, and it got a few laughs, but Joe squelched it. "I mean what I say," came the reply. The point rang true -- Mitt's "47%" was also, sadly, truly meant.

That's how it went, and the GOP crowd suffered. Old Joe was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Visibly amused at The Kid's earnest chipmunk act, he sliced the air with his hand and jabbed away, every Ryan factoid met with a contrary factoid, so relentless the crowd could barely talk back to the screen.

What most fully aroused the RomRy fans was The Kid's charge that Dems bury "small business" with taxes. If they feel anything, it's anger. The GOP's local core -- those who gather in sports bars instead of barrier island McMansions -- are struggling shopkeepers and their employees (those who are not retired), and they seem bled out, battered by the forces of an economy and nation learning to share the planet with others.

That anger? Think stage two of the five stages of grief, for the passing of the White American Dream and the Greatest Generation's global dominance. Private Ryan, a heartland baby, raised on Reaganism, tried mightily, naively, to bolster the old myths. Old Joe Biden showed the greater grace -- beyond bargaining and depression to acceptance -- and the greater strength found in that.

Fire Ant, an invasive species, tinged bright red, with an annoying, sometimes fatal bite, covers Palm Beach County. Got feedback or a tip? Contact

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When you stare Private Ryan in the eyes, remember this about him - he parses the meaning of rape.

To this fitness buff, there's Olympic medals for sexual abuse. Gold: Raped by a gang of hulligans

Silver: Too many shots of jaeger and a house full of frat boys

Bronze: Show me on the doll where your bad Uncle Bob touched you sweetie

Then again, not surprising if you consider Ryan gets his queues about rape from the bible.

To wit:

Death to the Rape Victim (Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

It is clear that gawd doesn't give a damn about the rape victim.  He is only concerned about the violation of another mans "property".

The Tea Party frets over Sharia Law.  I concur, because if it ever makes it to the shores of the USA, it will be garbed in Christian clothing.  And wearing a Pope's hat.


we must not have watched the same debate. IT WAS A DRAW. Biden did better than his boss last week, but not a knockout by any means.

Anthony Djuren
Anthony Djuren

Whatever happened to an objective and neutral media? Articles like this do NOTHING to tell the story. The writer is an embarrassment to the profession. And I'm a registered democrat. Biden should be embarrassed.....being a smug, pretentious, classless, ass is not the way you debate a rival.

Dusty Gilbert
Dusty Gilbert

If acting like a childish little boy, is eating someone lunch then I guess so....

fire.ant topcommenter

 @JoeF If the folks in the PB GOP thought so they kept it to themselves.

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