Obama Takes Second Debate While Romney Collects His Binders

Categories: Politics
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A few weeks ago, the first presidential debate took place, in which Barack Obama was replaced by a sock puppet and Mitt Romney was declared President for Life. The Mittbot was spirited and on the offense, while pointing his finger and blaming the president for all the ills of society while Obummer just stood there and took it. Everything Romney said was one big pile of horseshit. But still. He won!

But in last night's debate in Long Island, the sock puppet was gone and we finally got back Velvet Thunder Obama. 

While he answered with a clear and concise voice filed with conviction, Romnom seemed petulant, irritable, and downright annoyed. This time, there was no Jim Lehrer to be all, Talk about your differences and I'll just sit here and say nothing for five minutes... and GO.

This time we had a moderator who acted like she wanted to be there, fact-checked on the spot, and probably, according to every GOPer you can find today, was totally in the tank for Obama.

See also:
- Mitt Romney Wins Debate by Way of Lies, Lies, and More Lies

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There is a plethora of things one can pick out as big moments. Here are a few:

- During an exchange on China and personal finances, Romney tried to pull the ol' "gotcha" tactic he pulled on Newt Gingrich during the primary debates and asked Obama, "Have you looked at your pension?" Obama brushed him off with a, "I don't look at my pension. It's not as big as yours, so it doesn't take as long."

- Romney kept touting his FIVE POINT PLAN. Which, as usual, had no substance or details. Just like his tax plan!

It was clear that Mittington was going to pound this shit into the ground, so America would be all, "Five points, you say? Sounds simple enough! VOTE ROMNEY!"

Then the Velvet Thunder came and obliterated the five-point plan into a fine powder.

"Gov. Romney doesn't have a five-point plan. He has a one-point plan: to make sure that folks at the top play by a different set of rules."

- In a particularly heated exchange on Libya, Romney went after Obama about supposedly lying about how he had described the attack in Benghazi the day after ("He never called it a terrorist attack!" is soooo GOPer). The president's face and tone changed, as if to say lives were lost, Americans were killed, and this dipshit wants to politicize it with more lies. Obama looked directly at Mitt, chastised him, and called his accusation "offensive." When Romney insisted on what he was saying was true, Obama told him to check the transcript. That's when moderator Candy Crowley piped up and told Romney to shut his facehole because he was wrong.

- And then there was Romney's BINDERS OF WOMEN moment, which was equal parts inept, offensive toward women, and hilarious.

When a voter asked a question about equal pay for women, Obama brought up the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay Act, dropped the mic and walked away. (He didn't really drop the mic, but he might as well have.)

When it was Romney's turn, he rambled on about how when he was governor he was shocked! that he had no women staffed on his Cabinet. So he immediately was all, This is an outrage! Get me some women people to work here! And then he asked a woman's group to help him, and they gave him a binder. And then he hired people with boobs, so now you should totally vote for him as president.

"I went to a number of women's groups," Romney claims. "And I said, 'Can you help us find folks?' and they brought us whole binders full of women."

And that's when an entire internet meme was born. Here and here.

But aside from internet smartassery, turns out Romney's tale of rescuing women and giving them jobs on his staff was... ... wait for it!... TOTAL HORSESHIT.

- The candidates were asked one final question: What's the biggest misconception people have of you, and tell us why they're wrong. Romney could have come out and said, "People say I'm a robot. I am not." But he didn't (which probably proves our theory that he totally is!). Romney instead went with the Hey, I'm a good dude, I love my peeps and I love my religion answer, which is nice but speaks of his Mr. Roboto-ness. Nothing sincere or personal in his answer.

When it was Obama's turn, he came out and talked about how people say he doesn't like business and yada yada yada HE FINALLY DROPPED THE 47 % REMARK ON ASSES.


"I believe Governor Romney is a good man. Loves his family, cares about his faith. But I also believe that when he said behind closed doors that 47 percent of the country considered themselves victims who refuse personal responsibility, think about who he was talking about. Folks on Social Security who've worked all their lives. Veterans who've sacrificed for this country. Students who are out there trying to hopefully advance their own dreams, but also this country's dreams. Soldiers who are overseas fighting for us right now. People who are working hard every day, paying payroll tax, gas taxes, but don't make enough income. And I want to fight for them. That's what I've been doing for the last four years. Because if they succeed, I believe the country succeeds."

Classic Velvet Thunder.

It was the haymaker of the night. Set up perfectly by the question, Mitt's pseudo I'm a good human person who cares about you because I love God answer, and Obama making one final point about the major differences between he and the Mittbot.

Obama saved the best for last, as a final knockout punch of the night.

"47 percent these nuts."

* POW! *

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11 comments
frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

well.....the government bailed-out WALL STREET is back making record profits and fat bonuses again while MAIN STREET is yet J O B less and foreclosed upon.......we are still at WAR.......romney cannot explain the math in his "read my lips, no new taxes" pledge NOR the difference bewteen oBaMacare and commonwealthcare (MA) which of course is romneycare,  without flip-flopping on both these major issues........WHY are we dissing CHINA who are buying our TTTrillion-dollar government DEBT : romney has made a gigantic personal fortune out-sourcing J O B s to china and obama who has actually benefited from the currency differences......what we have is COKE vs PEPSI and both products are really just sugar-water

chriss0608
chriss0608

I know that this paper isn't exactly a beacon of neutral political reporting, as evident by this reporter's slurp-fest over any perceived Democratic victory, but a little perspective may help you realize that we are choosing between two candidates with dubious claims that are getting bitch slapped with fact checking:

 

http://news.yahoo.com/fact-check-stumbles-latest-presidential-debate-015330844--election.html

 

Sad that we are fist pumping the "winner" of these debates when in one corner we have a candidate with fuzzy plans with no concrete examples of his proposals and the other who has had four years and ran on a whole bunch of grandiose promises - by his own admission, he has fallen short on many of them - and his whole platform seems to be "vote for me, I'll really try harder these last four years"!  This is what We The People are getting to choose from?  No wonder this country has been swirling around the drain for the last 20-30 years due to inefficient politicians.  Guess we get what we deserve.  After Nov 6 99% of the population can go back to reality TV and the newest iPhone and pretending they know or care about what the few people we elected to run this country are doing.

jram305
jram305

@byChrisJoseph brother, this is great. Love the butt hurt guy who commented on Libya, lol.

TheBDHill
TheBDHill

Dude, think this might be my favorite thing you have EVER written. I'm laughing and angry at the same time, and you're article captured that frustrating feeling PERFECTLY. Kudos, Mr. Chris.

winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

Velvet Thunder  =  deceiving ass.  Any answers on the Libya direct question?  Nope.  Any plans for the next 4 years?  Nope.  Just the same old Bullshit I've come to expect from this incompetent.

 

Romney this...Romney that.  He's coming to eat your children and steal your assets and give them to the rich.  Meanwhile, hang in there with me.  And get what you've received the last four years...A stool filled economy that I have no clue how to fix but I'll tell you the other guy's a lyin' rat and people will love it. 

 

Interesting polling numbers coming out after your self-described ass kicking on who can better deal with the economy.  Romney by 18 points.  How the hell did THAT happen?  Weren't people mezmerized by the "cool one's" smack down?

Krecinos
Krecinos

@byChrisJoseph might I recommend some rocky III references if Barry O wins debate 3

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

Hopefully women took note of  Willard's coments about women's place in the work force and how he made concessions for them to get off work early, so they could make dinner for the "children" at home. What a condescending SOB.

byChrisJoseph
byChrisJoseph

@jram305 Was expecting the butthurtness to come in droves today. Good day, indeed.

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

 @KennyPowersII But once Mitt makes all the jobs appear, employers will be flexible and the women people can leave work early and go to the kitchen WHERE THEY BELONG.

 

er...

 

I mean, cook for their kids and stuff.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

 @chrisjoseph13  Willard's views are bizarre. A Stepford wife would be a perfect member in his cabinet. Maybe the Dept of Home Ec.

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