Mitt Romney Wins Debate by Way of Lies, Lies, and More Lies

Categories: Politics
mitt lie.jpg

Wake up this morning and the consensus is that Mittington Willard Romnom RoboRomney Mittbot won the first presidential debate over Velvet Thunder Barack.

Most pundits on Twitter and your mother agree. Romney was feisty, aggressive, kind of a dick, and on the offense. 

Meanwhile, Obama was a big giant fart sound.

But if these things are measured in style (they are!), and if they decide elections (they don't!), then something is crazy with the Cheese Whiz.

Because while Romney was more animated and energized, he was also filled with horseshit of epic proportions. You would need several dozen dump trucks to come in and haul away all the horseshit Romney spewed out of his mouth last night. It's like he's part of the mutant X-Men, and his superpower is spewing horseshit out of his mouth.

The Horseshittery:

- Romney claimed that under his plan -- to reduce tax rates by 20 percent while eliminating tax deductions in order to pay for it -- the wealthy would be paying the same, no change, no reduction in what they're already paying. Yeah, uh, this is what scientists would call HORSESHIT.

Under Mittbot's plan, those who earn $200,000 or more would see a tax cut. Everyone else would see their taxes increase. This narrative of Romney rewarding the rich by fucking the poor is out there for a reason. Because unless Romney farts out money, his claim is mathematically impossible.

But, hey, horseshit > math, apparently.

- Obama clearly came in with a plan: Talk about how Romnom's plan to stimulate the economy includes a huge whopping tax cut totaling $5 trillion, even though that is also mathematically impossible seeing how Mitt would have to spend in other places too (unless, of course, he is able to fart that money, as mentioned above). 

Romney's been touting this for 18 months. 

But when he was called on it by Obama on national television, he was suddenly all, "WHHHAAA?? I NEVER SAID THAT!!! WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION FROM LOLOL"

"First of all, I don't have a $5 trillion tax cut," Mitt said. He then cited "six other studies" that show how his magical unicorn vagina plan would work. And, of course, that too is HORSESHIT.

The studies he cited actually do not provide much evidence that Romney's proposal would work without making big cuts everywhere else or, as Gov. Romney has put it for 18 months [except for that one time everyone was watching]: "Cutting $5 trillion."

But let's make up "studies" that "support" the horseshit I'm vomiting because... LOOK AT MAH HAIR!

leldebate.png

- Romney played the DEATH PANELZZZZ card last night, saying that under Obamacare, there would be a board of people telling you what kind of treatment you're going to receive. 

/evil laugh

He brought this up a few times, even after Obama bothered to wake up and correct him. 

Death panels. Boards telling you what kind of treatment you can have. 

*clears throat*

.....

HORSESHIT

 There are no "death panels" or any other panels of the kind Romney describes.

- Romney also said Obamacare has been a job murderer. HORSESHIT.

- Romney claimed Obama has added to the debt more than all the presidents ever combined. HORSESHIT.

- Romney claimed he'll add 12 million jobs over the next four years if you elect him. Sounds awesome, right? It does. And it is. Except that the economy as it stands now is already expected to add that many jobs anyway. SO! MUCH! HORSE! SHIT!

Overall, if the debate was judged on style, performance, and total unequivocal horseshittery, Romney won, hands down.

Maybe Obama's lackluster performance could be explained by him being all, "I'm a politician, and even I can't believe the amount of horseshit coming out of Romney's mouth."

Perhaps Obama was horseshit-stunned and couldn't recover.

Either way, he should be better prepared for the next debate. And here's a tip for the president for the next go-round: When Romney opens his facehole, just say, "HORSESHIT."

Obama: Uh, excuse me, Jim. Can I say something?

Jim Lehrer: Go ahead, Mr. President.

Obama: HORSESHIT.

Jim Lehrer: Gov. Romney, rebuttable.

Romney: I uh...

Obama: HORSESHIT.

Romney: Well, you see...

Obama: HORSE. SHIT.

Romney: This president is going to...

Obama: Mitt. 

Romney: ...

Obama: Mitt. 

Romney: ...

Obama: Mitt.

Romney: WHAT?

Obama: *whispers* horseshit.

Romney: ...

Obama: Nah, just kidding. Go ahead. It's your turn.

Romney: Uh... Anyway... as I was saying... this presid...

Obama: Horseshit!

See how that works, Mr. President?

It really is that simple with Romney, who came with well-coifed hair, big smile, smug grin, and being a dick toward the spineless moderator and won the debate by spraying buckets of horseshit on America without giving a single specific plan on how he's going to do all the magical things he promises.

Well, he did give us one specific plan. He's going to have Big Bird fired.

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70 comments
KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

Please install the dislike button to thus forum platform.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

Hey, just heard Mitt Romney is the special guest on Shawn Hannity's show tonight, 10 PM Fox News.  Don't miss this extra chance to see a real guy in action and get some additional education on how you've been taken to the cleaners the last four years.  Knowledge is power! 

 

Where's Obama going to be?  Pouting and stamping his feet while he's blaming his advisors for not making him look better, no doubt. 

 

Justify your record, Obama, or get the hell out of Dodge.  Actually, just get the hell out of Dodge. Your record is transparent and it's abysmal.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

By the way, it was priceless how Barack Obama talked about his grandmother during the debate.  How she was self-sufficient.  For the record, Barack Obama's aunt, who's been deported TWICE, is hiding out in taxpayers housing in south Boston.  We're paying for her to live there and she's broken the law twice.  Another person Barack didn't bring up last night was his half-brother in Kenya, who's living in a shack the size of his body.  This is no decent man, your president.  It is all about Barack and carrying out his father's ideology (his own words, by the way.  Fact-check.  The people lose if we let this happen to us.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

Funny dialog up there if it wasn't so true.  Obama only knows a few words, and horseshit is probably one of them. 

jwhite357
jwhite357

@pollbuster ....palm beach your such a turf.

ipeneIope
ipeneIope

@TheBDHill They are the new Zombies!!

TheBDHill
TheBDHill

Jesus, the level of idiotic comments on here is terrifying. Glad the Mitt herd are out in full force after what accounts to an exaggerated sound bite. Keep eating up political sound bites you trolls, and hopefully we'll find ourselves antha dub'ya. 

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

Listening to the debate instead of watching it kind of changes the perception of it.  It made it easier to sense when Romney was fill of BS.  But my guess is President Obama was distracted.  You KNOW Michelle was giving him grief for having a debate on their anniversary.

Bad planning there.

Romney just looked like an asshat.  When he opened his mouth, it proved that.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius topcommenter

On a positive note, Mitten's Oompa Loompa look appears to be cured.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius topcommenter

Chris.

In the mid 90's, I was stupid enough (aka a slacker) to find myself battling testicular cancer.

One ball and 15 years later, I now find myself living the American dream (aka working for myself) and being denied health coverage because of my pre-existing condition.

Like millions of other folks in my situation, health care is rationed (aka denied you sick fuck). I'm not looking for free, discounted, and/or a handout -- I just want access.

Is that not a death panel?

Tl2UTH
Tl2UTH

chrisjoseph13  Yes-this article was written to do just that.  Provoke a response from people who have more sense, than this joker of a journalist will ever have in his life.  You throw out sense, reason and accountability and trash journalism is produced.  

 

What a shame.

caribisland314
caribisland314

Your article is ridiculous, Obama tanked because he can't defend his horrible record. New Times has obviously been sucking off Nancy pelosi and Harry reid. Your editorial sucks and will eventually put you out of business. Do you really think your readers are dumb enough to believe crappy journalism ..

kareemzarwi
kareemzarwi

@ARodWrites I agree with what he wrote but how he wrote it won't do any good. Broward is filled with blind-conservatives. Grammatical errors

winnipegal21
winnipegal21

Hahaha, @FLneedsrealchange :

 

You come on here and talk about the "ethics of journalism" and then refer readers to go to www.mittromney.com

 

You are the reasons that Republicans are unfairly stereotyped to be Racist/Homophobic/Anti-Women and afraid of facts. You are the reason Republicans are afraid of free journalism. You are only further feeding the ugly cliche that is sinking your party down.

 

Educate yourself. Please. Shame on you.

 

Warm Regards.

New Times Broward Palm Beach
New Times Broward Palm Beach

Non partisan fact checkers were cited on the lies. He did lie many times. Those are the facts. Not just "throwing stuff out there." But, again, my comment above. Also, focus groups mean nothing. The sample size is too small. It'll take a good week to see if there was any effect at all from last night. -CJ

Elise Yany-Fleishman
Elise Yany-Fleishman

CNN had a focus group of undecided voters, they now lean Romney. Just throwing LIES without anything behind your accusation is exactly what people are tired of hearing, that and the blame game its getting old .

AND25
AND25

New Times - this is one of the most biased articles I have ever read. For a publication that is supposed to be "news" you greatly fail at your ability to report anything without bias. This entire publication is rife with opinion, not fact. As a part of the media you are supposed to provide the facts, not your opinions. The facts should do the work and are what the public need. The public does not need to read the word, "HORSE SHIT" in every other paragraph. This is not journalism. I am an Independent. I voted for Obama in 2008, but I believe he has failed our country. Romney did an AMAZING job last night. And he has my vote. The New Times, on the other hand has lost my vote. I used to be an avid reader, but I believe I will be getting my news from a more reliable source in the future.

New Times Broward Palm Beach
New Times Broward Palm Beach

My take (not New Times') is that people's minds are already made up no matter what. Obama could have pulled gold nuggets from his pants last night and mailed them to every home in America, and it wouldn't change the minds of people who will be voting Mitt anyway. And vice versa. But the lies speak for themselves. Do with em what you will. - CJ

Elise Yany-Fleishman
Elise Yany-Fleishman

Obama's record is simply indefensible. I mean exactly what can Obama hang his hat on? He spoke 4 minutes more that Romney and said absolutely nothing!

Ron Kerr
Ron Kerr

It's easy to hide behind attack ads but when you are face to face and one person brings zero to the table it makes it clear who is telling lies.

FLneedsrealchange
FLneedsrealchange

Your article is misleading, inaccurate, and reckless.Way to trash the journalism code of ethics... just wad it up and shove it up the rear of anyone who will be nice enough to bend over and take it.  I mean, it doesn't really matter if what you say is true or not, so long as you say it enough to convince the kool-aid drinkers, right?  

 

For those interested in the truth, don't take my word for it.  Check the source. 

http://www.mittromney.com/sites/default/files/shared/BelieveInAmerica-PlanForJobsAndEconomicGrowth-Full.pdf

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

 @bcconfidential DON'T MISS THIS EXTRA CHANCE TO SEE WHICH WAY ROBOROMNEY FLOPS THIS TIME.

 

Cripes, bc...

 

You're embarrassing yourself with the same old trite Fox News Obummer talking points. Bring something fresh to the proceedings. If you're gonna make an ass of yourself, at least be original.

 

Holy Hell.

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

 @bcconfidential He's your president too, bc. I know it's tough to accept that for you. 

 

Also, two words: BAIN FUCKING CAPITAL.

 

Also, dog on roof.

 

Mittington is a Saint of a Man and a Gentleman of Leisure. 

TheBDHill
TheBDHill

@ipeneiope Yes, I just went all "Piss fuck" on em.

TheBDHill
TheBDHill

@ipeneiope I can handle folks being Repub/Conservative/Whatever. But don't be a fucking ignorant piss fuck. ENRAGES me.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

 @TheBDHillYou'll wish dub-ya was back if this guy gets another four years to deep-six our country.  Obama's ideology is not America's ideology. 

Bebep
Bebep

 @TheBDHill But... but... but he said his lies with such energy!! He's got my vote!!

 

Sadly, they keep their base uneducated so they eat this horseshit up. The educated people have no excuse really.

FatHand
FatHand

TI2UTH, you stealing lines from As Good As It Gets?

Bebep
Bebep

Unlike you guys are dumb enough to believe the horseshit that comes out of Romney's mouth.

 

Please go ahead and back up his absurd claims with facts instead of diverting the argument towards someone's article.

 

Please take your time, we'll wait.

ARodWrites
ARodWrites

@kareemzarwi I'm going through it now to fix the errors. But, yea, I just shared with you bc I knew you'd find it entertaining.

FLneedsrealchange
FLneedsrealchange

 @winnipegal21 The article above incorrectly cites Romney's plan and accuses him of misstating it.  So yes -- I referenced HIS own words on his website where his plan is laid out, to help you see what his plan actually is.  I guess you just have your brain stuffed so full of spoon-fed liberal fodder that you can't possibly add any actual facts that come straight from the source being questioned.

 

And to be clear: the reason Republicans are unfairly stereotyped has nothing to do with me (fyi I am a pro-gay, pro-choice white woman who votes independent and libertarian).  I suspect it has everything to do with a party that cannot argue real facts and so instead chooses to resort to namecalling & race-baiting. Case in point: Reading the comments on this board, those arguing your point are nearly all using namecalling tactics instead of real facts -- including yourself.

 

Finally, journalists are supposed to report the facts, and give some credence to them.  The author above accuses Mitt Romney of lying about his own positions, and yet gives no credible source to back up his accusations about Mr. Romney's plan.  I can think of no better source to help him clear up any question about what Mr. Romney's plan says than MITT ROMNEY'S PLAN. 

 

And yes, I have similarly read Obama's plan.  Because I don't rely on pundits to spin and weave a biased, easy to digest narrative when it comes to these discussions -- I am intelligent enough to read and decipher the information on my own. If I wanted to understand Islam, I would start by reading the Quran.  Similarly, If I want to understand the church of scientology, or the tea party movement, or any other idealogical movement, I first LISTEN to what they have to say about their beliefs.  Before you attempt to misstate what Mr. Romney's economic plan says, I suggest you do the same.

 

I choose to be an informed voter rather than a kool-aid drinker.  I wish there were more intellectually honest voters out there that would do the same.

penelope.g
penelope.g

@AND25 Isn't every news source bias these days? foxnews and cnn aren't bias? pfft. Why don't you click on HORSESHIT. Pick one. Any one... See where you'll end up. Just a tip ;)

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

 @FLneedsrealchange I've cited several different non partisan fact checkers. You cited Romney's campaign website.

 

YOU WIN!

ipeneIope
ipeneIope

@TheBDHill LOL! Me too! But I was nicer!

Tl2UTH
Tl2UTH

 @FatHand Its That simple! even for a wannabe like you.

kareemzarwi
kareemzarwi

@ARodWrites yep, horse shit was all I heard out of Monery Man. Went to bed depressed with Obama, curled into a ball and cried to sleep.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

 @chrisjoseph13  @FLneedsrealchange

 Let me tell you where Obama failed last night.  He was arrongant, he was angry, he was unprepared, he lied, he didn't have one leg to stand on, he was rude, and he tried to fall back on Bill Clinton again.  Well, failed isn't the right word.  Rather, he was just being himself!  He had two years with a democratic congress and he couldn't get anything done?  What kind of leader is that?  You'd have to be brainwashed to not see what this guy is doing to our country.  It's hard to even comprehend people think his actions are okay, and Romney - the guy who probably can get us back on the road to prosperity - isn't the right choice.  Huh?  I can't wait for the next debate where Romney will rise to the top again.  No amount of rehearsing will make Obama come across as anything other than he is.  Without a teleprompter, he comes across as the noncomprehending bumbo that he is.  Besides, as he said,  you can't Washington from the inside...so let's put him outside and let Romney show him how it's done.

 

FLneedsrealchange
FLneedsrealchange

 @chrisjoseph13 Yes - when discussing Romney's plan, I went straight to the source.  And based on what I see above, the only citation you listed were scientists who labeled Romney as horseshit.  Great sources.  Most of us who are educated know that you can find a study to support anything.  But since you don't think Mitt Romney is a credible source to verify his own ideas, here are a few facts and sources that maybe you can agree to:

- the Congressional Budget Office projects a debt-to-GDP ratio of 80% in two years, double the amount at the end of 2008

- American Enterprise Institute: Under the President’s budget, the national debt would increase to $20 trillion at the end of a second Obama Administration, or 106% of GDP.

- The budget has not been balanced during Obama's ENTIRE term, including the first two years where he had a democratic congress. 

 

And regarding the President's "simple arithmetic" about how Romney will attack the deficit, his math is very simple, indeed -- lacking any understanding of macro-economics.  The historically proven fact is that tax cuts = economic growth by way of GDP.  And when there are  more jobs, there is more tax revenue (and more taxpayers).  It's the same formula that Kennedy, Reagan and Clinton employed, but one that the President completely ignores as the third (and most viable) way to address a deficit. 

Bebep
Bebep

 @bcconfidential  You just lost all credibility when you think the movie 2016 is factual.

 

Wow... just when you thought the stupidity had peaked.

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

 @TheBDHill

 When you can cite Barack Obama's five mentors by name, then I'll start paying attention to you.  Let me give you one to start:  Reverend Jeremiah Wright.  (see the movie 2016 for  the lis and for fact-checking).

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

 @smdrpepper  @chrisjoseph13  @FLneedsrealchange

 Smdrpepper, if you pointed out facts we'd be cheering you.  And if you're voting for this phoney Obama again, I'd say you're koolaid and not Dr. Pepper. 

 

The old saying "The masses are asses" might apply if Obama hoodwinks his way back into the white house for four more years, but then what can you do?  Instead of Obama hiring an additional 2,000,000 teachers in his four years, he bet 90 billion  of our money on losers, many of which were his supporters.  Do you even read anything about Solandra?  Hello!?

bcconfidential
bcconfidential

 @chrisjoseph13  @FLneedsrealchange

 Again, Chris, please...you can't come on your own blog and insult your own commenters.  You will be out of a job, and maybe that's why you're rallying for Obama so strongly, because if he's loses many, many, many folks are going to have to get jobs.  Now stop insulting us, or we'll go away.  Is that what you want?

 

See, you're supposed to report the news in a non-biased way, and we get to comment.  And you shut up, and go work on your next story. 

 

Do I have to do all the educating here?

chrisjoseph13
chrisjoseph13 writer

 @FLneedsrealchange Your twisted logic hurt my brain, FLneedsyadayadayada.

 

Also... do the math again,. Because talking points and GOP ideology don't equal math.

 

Or just keep referencing THE SOURCE.

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