Manatee Molester Turns Herself In to Authorities

Categories: Animal Planet
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Yesterday we told you about a lady who tried dry-humping riding a manatee like a horse and then disappeared into the ether.

Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies were not amused and announced that they were on the lookout for the manatee molester.

"Go ride a Jet-Ski. Don't use animals. She needs to be held accountable for her actions," Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said in a news conference yesterday.

Well, it looks like the manatee molester heard she was a wanted woman and called the Sheriff's Office and admitted to being the culprit.

You'll never take me alive, copper! 

*rides off on a manatee*

Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez, 52, of St. Petersburg admitted to touching the animal but said she didn't know it was illegal.

Although authorities believe the molested manatee was unharmed, it's hard to gauge whether there was any psychological damage done by a large woman suddenly hopping on to its back and dry-humping it riding it like a pony.

Manatees are mild creatures, and their tolerance of humans has led them to being killed, particularly by motorboats. Also, they're incredibly slow. So it's tough for them to try to buck off some asshole who decides that it's MANATEE RODEO TIME!

"It's a wild animal. It's not something to be ridden," said Susan Butler, a manatee expert with the U.S. Geological Survey in Gainesville. "I can't say that as a biologist I would ever, ever condone that or say that [the manatee] wanted them to do that."

Gutierrez was neither arrested nor charged, and the case was referred to the State Attorney's Office, according to authorities.

Under the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, sea-cow molestation constitutes a second-degree misdemeanor, an offense punishable by a $500 fine or a term of up to 60 days in the county jail.

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7 comments
Nichole Middelkamp
Nichole Middelkamp

Funny, funny shit! I laughed out loud the entire time that I read it!

Doggg
Doggg

30 years ago, this was normal. 

whats next  turtles?  dolphins?  sharks?

OneArrogantSOB
OneArrogantSOB

@byChrisJoseph Did the manatee have to point to the area it was "Touched" on a little manatee doll?

Rizzmigizz
Rizzmigizz

@byChrisJoseph MANATEE RODEO TIME has been my password for everything for 5 years, thanks a lot asshole.

Brewkkake
Brewkkake

@vorhese187 Your phone seems to have autocorrected #DryHeaving. @byChrisJoseph

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