Five Things Donald Trump's "Big" Announcement Could Be UPDATED

Categories: News
trump.jpg

Donald Trump will be making a "very, very big" announcement today that might change the course of the presidential election but probably won't because Donald Trump is an attention-whoring dipshit.

But that isn't keeping us from talking about it because everyone loves to stare at a train wreck. Particularly a circus train with a terrible combover.

So, what could the big announcement be??

Some are saying that Trump will reveal that the Obamas once almost got divorced.

But Trump himself took to Twitter and said that all predictions up to this point are wrong.

So, what will the announcement be? Here are five guesses: 

Update [12:40 p.m.] Trump announces on YouTube that he will donate $5 million to a charity of Obama's choice if the president hands over his college records (see Trump's video below)

5. Trump will be combing his hair to the other side of his head
In a daring attempt to change things up, Trump has decided to stop combing over his hair towards the front of his head, and will instead comb it towards the back. This will reveal tattoos of his ex-wive's names next to a drawing of a topless Daisy Duck on his forehead that he's been hiding for decades.

4. Trump will fire Mitt Romney
"Mittington, my net worth is about 2.9 billion. Yoahs is $250 million. Theafoah because youah not rich enough to represent the Republicans and piss all ovah the middle class, yeh fiahd."

My Voice Nation Help
12 comments
flaguy9541
flaguy9541

I will donate $5 million to the charity of Mitt Romney's choice if he will release his tax returns for the past 12 years!

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

i hope he will announce something positive for the ft lauderdale beach TRUMP TOWER that has sat empty for some time now and is delinquent on it's taxes hurting all of ft lauderdale

 

TRUMP surely cannot announce that DEREK JETER didn't lose millions on his fifth avenue marque property TRUMP TOWER when JETER recently sold it for a gigantic loss

 

maybe he will announce he has bought the USGA and from now on all US Opens will be contested on TRUMP golf courses which is the ONLY way theDonald will ever get a major championship played on any one of his golf courses (BTW theDonald is a long-time member of winged foot in westechester which has hosted multiple US Opens)

 

but alas i fear the last of the above comments is correct....theDONALD will announce NOTHING

TheBDHill
TheBDHill

@bychrisjoseph "Combover McDipshits" is tempting me for a new FF team name

IrvingFeiner
IrvingFeiner

Donald Trump is an idiot.  I am waiting for Gloria Alred's  dramatic big  announcement today throwing mud on Romney.  You gotta admit that Gloria Alred is slightly hotter than Donald Trump.

Rizzmigizz
Rizzmigizz

@byChrisJoseph LOL, the John Mayer Trump tweet cracked me up

Sheila Pechman
Sheila Pechman

ROTFLMAO...Trump, media whore chump. Whatever he says only has comic value.

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

How is Trump even relevant to anything anymore? 

Maybe we will get lucky and he will reveal he really is a crappy businessman since everything he touches goes bankrupt while he takes all the money from investors. 

He is a LOT like Romney in that regard.

winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

The operative word being "slightly."  Gloria Alred is close to needing a broom.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...