Marco Rubio Says Obama's Agenda Is Redistribution

Categories: Politics
rubio debate.jpg

As we mentioned yesterday, Mittington Mittbot's crack team went into damage control over his now infamous "47 percent" remarks by not only releasing a 14-year-old tape that apparently shows Barack Obama wearing a Che T-shirt and saying that the government should send everyone a check for $1 million talking about redistribution.

They also turned on the RUBIOSIGNAL, calling on Charisma Boy to save the day in a conference call with reporters.

And there he was, clad in his red, white, and blue tights and cowl, standing majestically with his gloved fists of justice at his hips in the moonlight, looking down on the redistribution evildoers. He swiftly reached into his utility belt, grasped a pellet, and threw it down. Plastic shattered everywhere as a pillar of smoke rose into the air, confusing the evil reporters. Charisma Boy then thrust a leg into one of them directly under the chin. POW! He then spun and karate-chopped another in the throat. WHAM!

"Redistribute this!" he exclaimed as he punched another in the clavicle.

In the conference call, for which he was joined by Republican Party Chairman Reince Priebus (which is kind of like Batman being joined by Aquaman), Rubio pulled no punches by saying shit we've pretty much heard GOPers say, well, all the damned time.

"Mitt Romney believes the economy can always grow, but when it grows, we can all be better off," Rubio said.

Added Aquaman Priebus: "We know [Obama's] agenda is an agenda of dependency."

Rubio acknowledged that Romney should have been more articulate in relaying his message on how half of America is nothing but freeloading hobos. The point is: Obama redistribution handouts government bad.

The senator then got to the point of why RoboRomney asked him to have this presser in the first place: TO CONVINCE HISPANIC VOTERS THAT OBAMA IS AFROCASTRO.

Hispanics are not going to buy into Obama's "redistribution message," Rubio insisted.

"The enormous number of people come to this country to get away from big government economics."

So Rubio didn't say anything new. Because why bother? Redistribution, man. The president said it 14 years ago, and his agenda is to just give away free shit, and that's going to destroy this nation.

Hey! Hispanics! You know better than to trust Obama. Romney's own father was a refugee of Hispanic descent! Just like you! And he came to this nation and built his own successful automobile company. On his own! With no government handouts at all!

What's that, Mama Romney?

Oh.



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3 comments
smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

They are trying anything to distract people from the vile things that they want to do.  Their candidate went out and said that he will ignore almost half of the American public.  What sort of President does that?

So they take things said fourteen years ago out of context in order to get people to actually believe the FAUX "news" allegation that President Obama is a socialist.  The sad thing is some of these people will believe this.

In reality, Obama is more in step with their favored saint, Reagan, than anyone socialist. 

Of course in this day and age, Reagan would not even be allowed in the republican party.

David Leo Morley
David Leo Morley

If our elected officials "protect and serve" us as citizens by creating programs to assist parts of the general population in their "pursuit of happiness" it's called "redistribution" or "socialism" But if Mitt and his government friends create tax breaks to redistribute public funds into his pockets, it's called freedom.

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