Bike to the Everglades! An Illustrated Beginner's Guide to Not Dying

Our brethren in Miami showed how you can kayak to Marlins Park or take the Metrorail to nowhere. But what if you just want a nice leisurely, relaxed, death-defying 17-mile bike ride from Fort Lauderdale to the Everglades and back? YOU'RE IN LUCK! We'll show you how! On the way, you'll see shitty infrastructure, blocked access, concrete walls, iguanas, and Swedish meatballs! READ ON!

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Just some of the many sights you will see from your bike if you don't die!!!

Fiirrrssst, ya gotta get out of Fort Lauderdale. The "best" way to do this is Davie Boulevard going west... it's actually not that bad, as far as bike streets go. The first part of the way there's no bike lane and it's kind of scary, which is why we recommend doing this ride at 4 a.m. on a Sunday. But then there's a bike lane. Well, there's sort of a bike lane... if you squint...

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Tiny "BIKE LANE" shown actual size.
Is that really a bike lane? Probably not. There are no bikes painted on it. And as you can see it's only four centimeters wide. But if you make it all the way down that, after a few miles you'll get pushed onto a wide sidewalk, and then land at the bazillion-lane intersection with University Boulevard. This is a good thing!

If you can manage to get to the other side, there's a real, bona-fide southbound bike lane. Get on that, and pedal like mad southward for a few hundred feet, until you get to the beginning of a wide, inviting pedestrian and cycle path. This will take you all the way west to Markham Park along 595...

...if you can get on it. Unfortunately, there are a few giant fences blocking access from the bike lane. HMM.

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Also, the area at the start of this bike path is under a freeway on-ramp that's under construction, so this whole area is blocked. Once you figure out a way to hike around all that mess, you'll see a sweet, wide path stretching off to infinity.

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Just don't get too comfortable. What, you didn't think it was all going to be easy from here, did you?


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