Voting in Florida Today? Good Luck! Here Are Five Things to Remember

Does your heart thrum with excitement when you fill in a little bubble? Do you feel your most beautiful when adorned with an "I Voted" sticker? Do you believe in the power of representative democracy to make sure your wishes are voiced by those with the power to effect change?

No, no, and no? Well, you numbskull Floridians, you should go vote today anyway because you'll be participating in one of the most broken, ineffectual systems ever birthed by our modern democracy, and that sounds like fun.

Here are five things to remember as you schlep reluctantly to the polls to mingle with your fellow grieving serfs:

5. Bring your ID.
>Voter ID laws in Florida require a driver's license, state-issued ID card, or some such thing to vote... gone are the days of flashing your voter registration and getting a ballot. If you don't have one, you can file a provisional ballot that might not count. In the future we might see even stricter ID laws, thanks to conservative Washington groups, in part, and to our own vigilant governor. This will also tap into the system to make sure you're registered to vote... which, if you're poor or disenfranchised, you probably aren't, since our state also passed a law severely curtailing voter registration drives by third-party groups.

4. Don't be poor or black.
Those new Florida laws also included a change to early voting, eliminating Sunday voting before Election Day, which traditionally was a mainstay in politically involved black churches. Parishioners would make a social event out of it, gathering to go to the polls and vote for whoever seemed most in line with their ideals. This is way too old-fashioned and charming for Florida, of course, so Rick Scott made sure that people would have to either vote on Saturday or go to the polls during the week. This, of course, forces them to take time off from all those jobs he created.