Old Lady Fights Off Burglar

Categories: News
old lady with cane.jpg
(Note: Not actual old lady from the story.)

A burglar was the victim of a 91-year-old woman when he tried to rob her house.

Early in the morning on August 24, a man broke into the woman's home in the 1300 block of SE 14th Street. 

As he rummaged through a nightstand, the old woman woke up and immediately began screaming, because who needs ADT when OLD LADY SCREECHING works just as well.

According to police, the robber grabbed her throat and put a hand over her mouth to shut her up.

You would think that would be the end of it, seeing how a fully grown young man had a 91-year-old woman by the neck.

Yeah, no.

The woman then began to kick and scratch the burglar until he released her. The suspect had had enough of a 91-year-old woman beating him up, so he ran away.

Police have released a composite sketch of the man in question. And according to the artist's rendering, the guy totally has the look of a dude who'd get beat up by an old lady in her 90s. 

sketch22.jpg

He is described as a white male in his mid- to late 20s, with short hair. He was wearing a white T-shirt and dark pants.

If you spot the suspect, do not take matters into your own hands. Just call your grandmother and have her take care of it.

But mainly, you should call Detective Moule of the Fort Lauderdale Police Department at 954-828-6032 or Broward Crime Stoppers at 954-493-8477.


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1 comments
bcconfidential
bcconfidential

Chris, do you do stand-up comedy on the side?  If not, why not?  Your columns are so funny

(and smart, too, of course).

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