Inside Florida Puppeteer Robert Brown's Alleged Plans to Eat Children

Categories: WTFlorida
The eye is real; the hair, it appears, is quite fake.
Our Miami compatriots told you yesterday about Robert Brown, the Tampa children's entertainer arrested this week on charges he was planning on kidnapping a child to rape, murder, and eat him -- quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

He claims it was all just fantasy -- which, though it's unseemly, would not necessarily be against the law. But he was allegedly talking about a child he goes to church with, so the police scooped him up.

Now, we, the iron stomachs of the Pulp, have waded into the disgusting muck that is Brown's criminal complaint to bring you his fantasies as no other news outlet will -- that is, with all the gross stuff intact, because you are a grownup and can decide for yourself what horrifying public documents you expose yourself to.

A brief warning: If you were irked by that post we did of the sexts former weatherman Rob Lopicola allegedly sent to underaged boys, don't go anywhere near the rest of this story.

Police found Brown through the arrest of a Kansas man named Michael Arnett back in May -- investigators say they found that Arnett had child pornography and had gone into online chats where he had "extremely graphic discussions regarding kidnapping, sexually abusing, murdering and eating of children." He had two pictures on his computer of "decapitated children that have been bound and cooked."

One of the people Arnett allegedly chatted with (sometimes under the name "calf_keeper2") was Brown, who used the name "uelime." In one exchange allegedly between Arnett and Brown, Arnett was asking about a boy identified in documents only as (C). Here are several excerpts from a conversation in April 2011:
uelime: Sadly, he is doing well. I wish I had him tied and gagged in the closet.

calf_keeper2: he would make a fine Easter feast

uelime: yes, his thighs and butt cheeks would be fantastic for easter.

calf_keeper2: I agree. You could be spending today parting him out, getting a pan ready for the butt and thighs

uelime: I would have the time to do it today, if I only had him.
The two then get into discussing how "uelime" would go about telling the boy that he was about to be "cut up and eaten."

"I can assure him that he won't feel a thing because he will be dead by then," Brown allegedly wrote. "I could ask him how he wants each cut of his body to be done and then label it for him with a black marker... yeh, maybe a dotted line around the base of his cock with an arrow and label 'cut here.'"

And another conversation from August 2011. In this one, Arnett allegedly goes by the name "sweettalkerlinda."
sweettalkerlinda: evening sunshine

uelime: Hello

uelime: how are you?

sweettalkerlinda: I'm good. you?

uelime: Doing well.

sweettalkerlinda: any luck with your boy?

uelime: No, I still want to eat him though. He was looking good in his last pic that I got.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
Jon Eblok
Jon Eblok

Jesus Christ guys. REALLY? I won't be able to scrub those images out of my head for...ever. CRAP...!

Stephanie Sarria
Stephanie Sarria

WOW! Now I know what happens to children when they go missing.


My brain isn't allowing what I read from these freaks to register.  The emails are beyond horrible...both these guys should just be put to death even if they didn't do the stuff they're talking about.  Clearly, we don't all live in the same world.


And Chaz, you're out of line. 


I don't know. This sounds like empty bragging from incompetent losers. You should watch that you are not heralding the censorship of u.s. citizens to spout any nonsense they want. I wonder how many children you ate in your sleep last night.



Was the plan to sprinkle bath salts on the little bastards to make 'em taste better?


 @jaged I know what you mean; I mentioned that possibility in the second paragraph. I'm under the impression the charges moved forward both because Brown allegedly had child porn in his home and because he was talking about a specific boy he had regular access to.



 I am a very humble man but just to shut  you up their are four HPD bad boys in prison ,thanks too criminal with a badge Jeff Marano(PBA president) and yours truly ...Nuff said



 ROTFLMAO its like playing hockey against a 6 year old you cant compare you annoying the SAO to my investigations.I cant say to much but before this Xmas you willshityourpants Timothy 


 @abouttime83 Last month, I was on the TV for my activism three times.  And outside of the South Florida market.


By the way, your investigation?  Nine years old and cold cased... Personally, your dead friend is better off dead, versus having to listen to your whiney Canadian ass...




Here's some recent accomplishments of mine.  Let's see your list.


Press and Media:     May 2012: Boca Magazine "Faces"     June 2012: Tampa Bay Times - The Buzz     June 2012: National Journal - Hotline On Call     June 2012: Roll Call - Heard on the Hill     June 2012: Naples News    

June 2012: Tampa Bay Times - The Buzz     June 2012: SaintPetersBlog - Sunburn TV Coverage:     June 2012: NBC-2 Fort Myers     June 2012: ABC-7 Fort Myers    

June 2012: CBS12 West Palm Beach



Arrests: 3    

Removed from office: 3    

Convicted: 2    

Pending trial: 1    

Pending appeal: 2    

Facing jail time: 1



US Department of Justice OIG: 1    

US Department Housing and Urban Development OIG: 2    

US Department Housing and Urban Development: 1     Federa

l Election Commission: 1    

Florida Department of Law Enforcement: 1    

Broward County SAO: lots and lots    

Broward County OIG: 1    

Palm Beach County SAO: n (?)    

Palm Beach County OIG: n (?)    

Florida Commission on Ethics: 2    

Florida Bar: 1 Legal:    

Cease and desist letters received: 7    

Number of times we've told them to "eat me": 7    

Sued: 1    

Lawsuits that lasted more than three business hours: 0     Threatened to be sued: lost count


By the way, that bike of mine? It's an Eddy Mercyx and cost more than that piece of shit pickup truck of yours.



 Timothy some day when you grow up and become a man (if ever)I will let you  ride your bike  to certain locations to dumpster dive  to retrieve important info on my homicide investigations.Until than keep harrassing little old ladies

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault