Jennifer Carroll Lesbian Fling Case: Five of the Weirdest Unanswered Questions

Categories: News
credenza.jpeg
An office credenza: An accomplice in Carroll's alleged gay fling in the Capitol.
Everybody is getting their collective jimmies rustled over the allegations that Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll was caught having a lesbian liaison with aide Bibi Ramos and then fired Carletha Cole, the woman who discovered them. Everyone's honed in on the lady-on-lady action, but there are way, way shadier things going on than scandalous allegations of cunnilingus. Here are five(ish) questions that are way more interesting than "does the lieutenant gov like the ladies?"

1. Why wasn't the trash can fire investigated better?
Cole says a small fire started in her office trash can is evidence Carroll and Ramos had it out for her after she discovered the alleged saucy-time goings-on. Ramos admitted to "accidentally" starting the fire by throwing away a cigar in Cole's trash can.

Documents show the Florida Department of Law Enforcement "investigated" but destroyed the evidence the same day it was received, according to the Miami Herald. Cole's lawyer also brought forth a document that looks to be signed by Carroll that recommends that particular investigator for a better job. It was dated the day after the investigation closed.

The Office of the State Fire Marshal has declined to investigate further, and the FDLE released a statement that said "absent any other evidence or suspicious circumstances we found her (Ramos) statement credible."

No "suspicious circumstances"? Hmmm. That sounds marginally shady and gets worse when you find out Cole says the FDLE didn't interview any witnesses. (It's a claim the FDLE denies.)

In any case, there was a fire in the Capitol that was dispatched with alarming speed by taking the word of the admitted fire-starter. Which brings us to question number two...

2. Why does Bibi Ramos throw away cigars like a weirdo?
Ramos says she was given a cigar as part of a St. Patrick's Day celebration about a block from the Capitol. After taking a few puffs, she says she put it out, wrapped it in a paper towel, walked into the Capitol, and threw it away -- with the burnt match -- in someone else's trash can, making her in all likelihood the first person to ever dispose of a cigar in such a bizarre way.

First of all, who's giving out paper towels in the middle of the road? That's probably easy to explain, though. More curious questions: She saved the match? Really? Also, who takes a just-extinguished cigar into the Capitol? Cigars smell strongly, and burnt cigars smell strongly of a human butt. Why throw it away in an office? Didn't she pass, according to the Palm Beach Post, five trash cans and an ashtray before going back inside?

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5 comments
Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

I may not go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. - Hank Moody

Guest
Guest

Great article!   Keep the pressure on Team Carroll because the evidence is piling up that she's a corrupt, arrogant, lying liar who is misusing the office and using her power to harrass an innocent employee.  Hang in Carletha, help is on the way!

KilgoreTrout
KilgoreTrout

Carroll is going to go down for this.  And I don't mean on Ramos.

Jon G
Jon G

Hi Chaz - Your math is a little off.  If I read this correctly, there are at least three c**ts involved in the caper, four if you count the governor......

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