Right now, someone is trying to sell
an autographed LeBron James jersey on Ebay for $14,999, or roughly a down payment on a condo. It's a white Cleveland jersey from James' rookie year, and he apparently wore it during a game.
Given that I have as much financial savvy as a badger on meth, I started wondering if it's possible to invest in some King James kitsch and cash in on it should he finally bring a title to the Sunshine State.
Halloween Mask: First off, is this racist? If so, does that mean it will be worth more money? The mustache missing over the middle lip is gross, but the lumpy beard is a nice touch. I wonder if LeBron would autograph this.
Here, a look at some of the more memorable memorabilia floating around on the internet.
Insulting T-Shirt: There's an entire cottage industry of people making T-shirts that express a certain level of disdain for the Chosen One. Among the slogans scrawled across these shirts are "LeBron Went South But His Mom Rides West," "Even LeBron Hates Ohio," and "LBJ SOB." The above T-shirt, however, displays a level of creativity and flair that is priceless, at least until Disney decides to sue the poor guy who made it for some bogus reason. For those wondering, the quote is something LeBron said about how he won't give up until he brings a championship to Cleveland.
Toilet Paper: Funny and useful! Although there's not an updated version with a Heat jersey, that could very well change if number 23 fails to take care of business in OKC. Stock up on the original version while you can.
Who actually buys shit like this? I'll tell you who: out-of-touch grandmothers and divorced fathers who aren't sure if their sons like basketball or football or sports but it's three days until Christmas and they need something under the tree. The only way you'll make a dime on this thing is by melting it down, huffing the fumes, and going on a massive robbing spree.
: Don't worry, we didn't know what a tegata was either when we first stumbled upon this eyesore. According to the Japan Times'
head sumo wrestling writer, a tegata is how well-established sumo wrestlers do autographs. "Only those ranked at Juryo and above are permitted to make tegata," he explains. I don't think LeBron
is at the Juryo level, yet. Way to appropriate a long-standing cultural tradition to create a fancy-looking piece of crap, UpperDeck.
Autographed Jersey: This is what $15,000 buys you on Ebay. Let that soak in.