If you haven't already heard about the weirdest DUI arrest since the Ron Jon Surf Shop guy got caught drinking Four Loko in his car
, a quick run-down: Police say Orange County anesthesiologist Zachary Bird was arrested on DUI charges after he almost side-swiped a cop car and failed sobriety tests. Then, Bird smashed his own face into a partition in the back of the cop car over and over again to force police to take him to the hospital.
Oh, and then he allegedly spit blood on two police officers. They found pills, two loaded handguns, and more than $54,000 in his pockets and car. We've got the pictures, video, and documents to satisfy any nagging curiosity you might still have about this guy.
Here's what he looked like in the back of that cop car, after bashing his own head open:
Aaaand the after shot:
And here are some of the highlights from the police report, as written by Florida Highway Patrol Trooper M.W. Castleberry:
I asked the driver what was going on tonight? The driver stated he was going to help his friend Fred. I asked what was wrong with Fred? The driver stated that Fred was "fucking with the wrong people". The driver stated he wanted to be a nice guy but everything was going the wrong way... The driver went on to state that he only has 30 miles to go help Fred out.
When it came time for Bird to perform a field sobriety test:
The driver asked me if he passed the "tests" is he going to be released. I explained to the driver that the purpose of the exercises was to determine if he was impaired. The driver nodded and subsequently stated that "either was he was ok with being a normal, perfect man / American either way" ... I instructed the driver to walk a few steps off of the roadway. The driver turned his back to me and walked around in a big circle.
After this, Bird was put in the car and did the well-publicized head-smashing. Police had an ambulance take him to the hospital:
The Hospital staff attempted to render aid to the driver at which point he stated he wanted to refuse all treatment, After the Hospital completed what initial scans they needed to do, I made contact with the driver at approximately 4:28am.
The driver still had on a spit mask and I reintroduced myself to the driver. The driver called me Doctor Castleberry and after I corrected him, became very irritated. The driver slurred the words occifer and stated he refused everything.
And after Bird was released:
As the driver was being prepared to be transported the driver still made aggressive marks towards myself, Sgt. Porter and other Law Enforcement Officers. The driver stated he could "take" all three or any of the three of us at one time. The driver additionally made comments about owning weapons at his house.
Bird has been suspended
at the Orlando-area hospital where he works, according to NBC Miami, and he could face charges of DUI, battery on a police officer, criminal mischief, and resisting arrest.
Here's a (gross, graphic) video of his actions in the cop car, and his arrest report is included below that.