Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen Goes Two Games Before Offending Everybody

Categories: Crime
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"I don't really even know what I'm saying with my mouth anymore."
The Miami Marlins' season started Wednesday. By Sunday, news outlets across the country were writing about all the people calling for manager Ozzie Guillen's resignation.

The hubbub is over an article from Time magazine that quotes Guillen saying pretty much the one thing Miami public figures should be told not to say in their first weeks on the job: "I love Fidel Castro."

Somewhere, a web producer was cackling while picking out that paragraph for the preview. The rest of the quote makes the statement seem more stupid than inflammatory, though:

"I love Fidel Castro... You know why? Many people have tried to kill Fidel Castro in the last 60 years, yet that [SOB] is still there."

Well, there you go. Not so bad, right? He doesn't love Castro because of his oppressive policies or his imprisoning of dissidents or any of the other reasons normal people hate him. Ozzie Guillen loves Fidel Castro because he keeps not being dead.

The Marlins could have issued a statement that just said, "Our manager is a stupid person. Please ignore anything he says in news magazines; they only interview him because Kids Say the Darnedest Things got canceled," but instead they said something about how Fidel Castro is a bad person, then made Guillen call a news conference about it. The Miami Herald makes an attempt at quoting the Unintelligible Mess in a story posted yesterday:

"I'm against the way he [Castro] treats people and the way [he has treated] his country for a long time. I'm against that 100 percent...," he said. "The way this man [has been] treating people for the last 60 years."

Oh, good. Glad that's settled. Also, the Marlins lost in the bottom of the ninth yesterday, after which, it's presumed, Guillen got drunk.


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18 comments
glass slipper
glass slipper

The carpetbagger twins, Loria and the midget Samson, are getting exactly what they deserve, as is the pretentious and spineless cuban population of Miami.

Smith16
Smith16

Instead of protesting Ozzie, every person who was offended should form a battalion, if you can get that many people, and overthrow the Castro regime. If Castro is such bad dude and destroyed your family go overthrow his government. If he's as bad as Hitler then Do something. As a former Marine and an American, nothing would stop me from getting what was mine if Castro took my land and killed my family. Nothing is stopping these exiles from doing that except the fear of death. If you are that offended go after the real target of your anger....CASTRO...not The manager of a baseball team.

GuntherZorn
GuntherZorn

Beyond the borders of Miami-Dade County, no one gives a shit.

Jackmahogoff
Jackmahogoff

Will he extol the virtues of Hitler next week?

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

Sun-Sen reports that Joe Martinez, the Chairman of the Miami-Dade Board of Commissioners hilariously demonstrated the depth of his intellect by writing "To say you respect Fidel Castro, suggests he also respects dictators such as Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortega, Adolf Hitler, and Sadam Hussein".  Heh.

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

This will make a good chapter for the NewTimes' upcoming book/compilation of articles entitled "Bad Stuff 'bout the Marlins"

Mikeins117
Mikeins117

Just last week Ozzie said he gets drunk at the hotel when on road trips.......he says sweet nothings about Fidel.......and Sid Rosenberg gets a DUI !!!  God how I miss the Maddog!!!  Rest in peace Mr. Mandich.

Prof. G
Prof. G

You can respect Castro for his courage in putting his life on the line to overthrow the repressive, corrupt Batista regime. You can respect Fidel's intelligence and prodigious memory -- those 5-hour speeches aren't extemporaneous, folks. You can respect his consistent "My Way" administration of the island's government, and you can respect the fact that, in the 500+-year history of Cuba, Castro is the first leader who made Cuba independent of the USA. All that being said, El Comandante is an all-time bastardo (literally and figuratively) who has deprived millions of Cubans of a decent life for more than half a century. Anybody can go on talk radio or hold up a sign. Castro and his brother and their little band of men showed true courage in the late '50s. You have to give him that.

FQS9000
FQS9000

It is amazing that the CIA in all its sneaky glory hasn't managed to make Fidel the asshole dead.   The Castro brothers must sacrifice a whole buncha chickens.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII

Offend everybody?  Nah, just some of the Dade county lunatic fringe, but give him a chance, he will eventually offend just about everyone.

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

Can't we leave Hitler out of it for once?

Prof. G
Prof. G

I think Neil Rogers would have days of programming, including songs, from these turkeys. Talk radio is totally lame by comparison now. Pitiful.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII

 The only activity that deprived Cuba of it's decent life is the U S embargo. For a bird's eye view of the real story of Cuba and Fidel's revolution, try Daniel Hopsicker's , Barry and the Boys. Good luck finding a copy.

Rich Abdill
Rich Abdill

There are a million arguments on both sides. While it doesn't sound like Guillen as much thought into his statement as you did, it seems his intentions were closer to your statement than to "I love repressing people." People are touchy I guess.

Rich Abdill
Rich Abdill

Godwin's Law. We can never leave Hitler out of it.

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

True dat. And Dan Le Batard is apparently right there with Jackmahogoff. I think that all of Dan Le Batard's sports coverage for all of these years, building up local and even national respect, has really just been a build-up to this one singular moment when he can use his platform and run around screaming about Hitler on this whole thing. Thanks Dan for bringing some rationality into this issue. Job well done.

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