Cops: Someone Tried to Rob a Burger King With a Sock

Categories: Crime, WTFlorida
This is a sock with buttons and string. Or, as the guy who tried to rob Burger King last night would call it, "a gun."
As we've documented here before, crimes in the Florida Keys are often strange, usually involving drugs, missing clothes, or some strange combination of both.

Yesterday, someone tried to rob a Burger King with a sock. Specifically, by stuffing his hand in the sock and trying to tell people it was a gun, according to the Monroe County Sheriff's office.

Employees at the Stock Island fast-food joint told police last night that a guy came in around 8:30 p.m. wearing shorts, no shirt -- unless that was the piece of cloth wrapped around his head -- a brown sock on his left hand, and a plastic bag on the other.

Instead of going up to the register and doing a sock-puppet show for the employees, he tried to explain his sock-covered hand was a gun and gave the store manager the bag, demanding he throw all the cash in there.

The manager said sure and told sock-man he had to go get the key.

Instead, sock-man ran away, stumbling and knocking over a display in the restaurant on his way out the door.

According to video surveillance and witnesses, the guy is between 35 and 45 years old, between five-foot-eight and six feet tall, with a stocky build and blue eyes. According to common sense, he's the kind of guy who would try to rob a Burger King with a sock on his hand.

The sheriff's office says they checked in the area of the BK for sock-man, but to no avail. They'll continue to investigate the incident.

Follow The Pulp on Facebook and on Twitter: @ThePulpBPB. Follow Matthew Hendley on Facebook and on Twitter: @MatthewHendley.

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I won't be surprised at all if it turns out to be one of the dumbasses I went to high school with. Glad I got out of town when I could.


His mom is so proud of him.  He put his pants on all by himself.  Those 12 years in Special Ed classes helped him so much.  Perhaps if the system had spent another $40 K or so, he would have known to put a pistol shaped squirt gun in the sock.  This is a clear case of a wasted opportunity for a wise abortion.

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