Florida Company Offering Free AK-47s for People Opening New Accounts With Them

Categories: Broward News
ak-47.jpg
gunslot.com
Do you happen to need an AK-47, as well as a company to process your credit card transactions?

If so, that would make today your lucky day, strangely enough.

MerchantService.com -- a Sarasota-based company that provides the equipment and processing for credit-card transactions in businesses -- announced its "Free AK-47 Giveaway" yesterday, offering an AK-47 worth up to $750 for new accounts based on how much credit-card processing volume businesses put through the company.

The company doesn't exactly have a cache of AKs sitting in its stock room -- it gives you a voucher to redeem instead -- and while you don't have to get an AK-47, they'd prefer you did.

"Keep in mind we are not simply handing out AK-47 assault rifles to anyone who opens an account with us," the company says. "Instead, you will receive a voucher that can be used towards the purchase of a firearm at any reputable gun shop where you must go through the proper background checks and waiting period that the law requires. If you prefer, the voucher can also be redeemed for cash."

Under the banner on its website that says "God, Guns & Guts" as part of the company's "No Victims" campaign, the company is promoting its services to protect against robberies and such, and apparently assault rifles fit the bill:

One of the most important steps toward ensuring you and your businesses well being is deciding to not be a victim.

According to a survey conducted by Professors James D. Wright and Peter H. Rossi, 56% of the felons surveyed agreed that "A criminal is not going to mess around with a victim he knows is armed with a gun;"

With the all of violence and crime in the US there are many things merchants can do in order to protect themselves in the future.

The website also uses a song that claims "I got rights" -- not the Hank Williams Jr. "I've Got Rights" -- and includes the lyrics "the Good Book says, I got rights."

For the $750 AK, you're going to need to open an account for 15 or more stores and do more than $1 million in volume.

If you do less, the company still offers smaller payouts toward the purchase of your new assault rifle, down to $50 for one store and $100,000 in volume.


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29 comments
Chisna
Chisna

Ooooo.... Cool....So does that mean if I open a account with this bank I can get a stick that goes bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang,bang, bang, bang !!! Oh golly gee wiz....How cool would that be.......

JudHanson
JudHanson

Wonder what next month's promotion will be? Perhaps an M-1 tank for the first 1000 new accounts.

hillbilly
hillbilly

These weapons are NOT "assault"rifles,because they are not fully automatic,(which requires a Federal license) !!Better to have one and never need it than to need it and not have it.Wonder why a car should have a spare tire?Just in case.

ddenehie
ddenehie

To Horatiogualt; I see that you progressives are threatening teaparty people with violence again. Well numbnuts, you'll be sorry to know that the average teaparty man or woman is twenty times more accurate with target aquisition than your welfare a** will ever be. Shootin sideways will get you a busted nose with that piece of crap russian junk.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

A nation of miscreants and knuckle draggers. Pick your poison.

JUDI
JUDI

You people in this state are all frigging NUTS.

BC Martin
BC Martin

My goodness! I was looking for a nice safe place to keep my Kruggarands.

bobfrommosinee
bobfrommosinee

Chaz Stevens, 20 years, Retired, Wounded, Service Connected, DD214, so what is your big fininsh, Call of Duty?  Zombies 1 and 2.

So do you have any blisters on the plam of your hand?

nyjets427
nyjets427

Great I was gonna pick up a ar15 next week guess I'll just join this company! Here's to the great usa!!!!!! Sorry libs who read this,the second amendment is a personal right!!!!!!!!

bobfrommosinee
bobfrommosinee

SMDrPepper you shoot pretty well????Have you ever engaged in a real dead in the dirt gun fight?You have a whole lot to learn, and don't have the brains to realize just how little you really know about Killing another Human being.Yes, it will be liberal idiots like you who will make me have to go through all that pain again.

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

AK-47 huh? I like the sound of that.

Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

I have a AK.  The AK rules.  Also have a bunch of other assault rifles (some with tax stamps).  Just in case I need to repel some invaders.

Chaz Stevens
Chaz Stevens

Geez Dude.

I would have never imagined playing the part of the Navy dude in the Village People Reunion Band to be that intense.

Sorry. My bad.

Given this, you might want to consider your notion of joining a boy band.

Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

Bob...

Put down the TV remote and step away from Full Metal Jacket.  Charlie doesn't surf and you aren't making sense.

nyjets427
nyjets427

You go chaz! These asshole just don't have a clue

Chaz Stevens, Douche Bag
Chaz Stevens, Douche Bag

 Then why do you have BSO driving by your house pussy? Quit wasting our tax dollars punk ass.

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

I like my AK, but I prefer the SKS.  Much more accurate.  Though I have plenty of ammo should the tea baggers get jumpy around here.

bobfrommosinee
bobfrommosinee

Yes, ROTFLMAO, what a dweb.

Full Metal Jacket, man do you really have a clue, your not a genius, your not even on the scale.

Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

Ha!  I love you.  It makes me feel special that someone finds me interesting enough to obsess over me.

Perhaps you'll be my Valentine!

Mrhuckfin
Mrhuckfin

Hey SMDrPepper, it's TEA PARTY not "tea bagger" say it right or don't say it at all.  So What do you think we tea party people are planning?  We're not violent or planing any raiding party's?  It's only people like you that do that not us?  Where do you get your info. and why on God's Green Earth do you even own a gun?  If you believe what you say then you should not be wanting a gun?  You don't seem to have the brains God gave a crowbar and you are obviously just a troll on this web site, you should stay off here.  I'm just say'n. :-)

horatiogalt
horatiogalt

Heh, before the summer of 2008, I never dreamed I would own any firearms, let alone assault rifles. But, between the Knoxville Unitarian Church shooting, Byron Williams aborted attempt to shoot up the Tides Foundation and the ACLU, the MLK Jr. attempted bombing, and the Utoya shooting, I've made damned sure to stock up in preparation for what the teabaggers plan to unleash on us.

Chaz's Momma
Chaz's Momma

So you are openly claiming that the purpose of your weapon is to kill Tea Party members?Neither of you asshats know how to use the weapons. You sit around your house in your panties watching zombie movies stroking your guns. Both you and Spaz will be the first to drop your guns and run to your momma to protect you after the shit you are starting gets going. I am sure manny people are happy to know where they can pick up a slightly used gun off of the ground after you drop yours and run for momma.

Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

Perfect Bob!   You've mastered Internet Tough Guy status.  What's your big finish?

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

Actually you baggers ARE violent, often calling for "second amendment solutions" for when you do not get your way.  You evolution comes directly from the various militia groups that plagued us durring the Clinton era.   Throwing bricks through windows of anyone who is not a tea bagger.  Oh and that term tea bagger is what you nutjobs called  yourselves when you first popped out of whatever spider hole you were hiding in.So sorry, but I pay very close attention to lunatic movements.  As for being a troll, lets see Ive been commenting on these pages for years and never once seen your name.  Interesting..

Freeman
Freeman

Yeah, following the constitution and not wanting to go neck-deep in debt is so CRAZY.

Ignorant fool.

Chaz Stevens
Chaz Stevens

My mom better be one hell of a shot since she's been dead for nearly two years.

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

Actually I shoot fairly regularly and pretty well.  An I have them in case you crazies get too crazy. 

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