Allen West Proves The Onion Sometimes Gets It Right

Categories: Wild, Wild West
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The Onion may be the world's greatest source of satirical news, but sometimes its hilarity actually yields more fact than fiction.

For President Obama's birthday yesterday, The Onion ran a news brief with the headline "Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition."

"After months of heated negotiations and failed attempts to achieve any kind of consensus, President Obama turned 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress," The Onion says.

Shortly thereafter, good ol' Rep. Allen West managed to make the news parody a reality.

West issued a statement titled "Happy Birthday Mr. President!" -- and here's what it says:

Happy 50th Birthday Mr. President! While surprises are for birthdays, it is no surprise to the American people that your failed economic policies -- from TARP to your health care bill-- have resulted in disaster for our economy. Since taking office, unemployment has remained at or near 9 percent for 28 months, America has added $3.4 trillion in debt in 29 months -- the equivalent of about $4 billion per day -- we have an anemic housing market with record foreclosures, and an average price of nearly $4 for a gallon of gas. Even your budget did not receive one single vote in the United States Senate -- and the icing on the cake -- a stock market slide of nearly 800 points in the last 5 days.

While it may be hard to hear the American people's frustration over the pop of the champagne corks and R&B bands at your $30,000/person birthday party, the citizens of this nation are suffering under your failed leadership. The best present you can give the American people will be for you and your failed economic policies to be defeated in November of 2012.

West pulled some policy punches there, but his overarching tone is that he's upset President Obama could possibly have a birthday while all of this is going on.

As The Onion says, "According to White House officials, Obama attempted to work with Republicans right up until the Aug. 4 deadline, but was ultimately left with no choice except to turn a year older."


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13 comments
westsux
westsux

Allen West is a rookie politician with no class or social grace. Move along, your time in the sun is done... and take your idiot WPTV moonlighting press secretary, Angela Sachitano with you...punk!

matt gordon
matt gordon

West should just "shut the heck up."

IrvingFeiner
IrvingFeiner

Allen West is mad because he threw a birthday party for himself this year and no one came.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII

West is trying so hard to be a redneck cracker.

"While it may be hard to hear the American people's frustration over the pop of the champagne corks and R&B bands at your $30,000/person birthday party".

I'm of the thought that Westy is pissed because he wasn't invited. Was he invited to Rick Perry's JesusPalooza?

Jennifer
Jennifer

Allen West is a DICK.

Patti Lynn
Patti Lynn

No.  A dick is real...maybe a dildo???

Model Citizen
Model Citizen

Sadly, Disqus would only allow me to "like" this comment one time.

Lifelong Dem
Lifelong Dem

People and households earning $1 million or more annually made up just 0.1 percent, or just over 235,000, of the 140 million tax returns filed in 2009, and just 8,274 returns were filed by people making $10 million or more. [...]And, the data shows, the 235,413 taxpayers who reported earning seven digits or more in 2009 took in a total of $726.9 billion — yet 1,470 paid not a penny of income taxes.And millionaire tax breaks need to be protected so more things like this can happen:At least 23 states have approved cuts to K-12 education for the coming year, reductions that will shrink or eliminate a broad array of school programs and services, particularly those serving the neediest communities, a report says.

Chaz Stevens, Genius
Chaz Stevens, Genius

Personally, I would tax the living fuck out of anyone making $1MM or more a year. Don't like it, then leave...  I know Nice is nice this time of year.

Granger
Granger

Maybe someone should teach Allen West an economics lesson.The President and/or the US has no control over the price of oil despite what tea baggers say.The price is set by international markets that the US has little control over due to the fact we have so little domestic reserves.And I don't suppose his memory is good enough to recall who trashed the US economy in the first place with the same economic policies he promotes.What a dolt.

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

And to think he ALMOST seemed rational just yesterday with his scrap with the tea baggers. 

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