Sarah Palin's Emails, Translated to South Florida

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What would Stacy Ritter write to her dad?
Recently, thousands of pages of emails from Sarah Palin's tenure as governor of Alaska were released to news organizations. (It took three years to get the records, partly because Palin shared Rick Scott's disdain for public email accounts.)

But now, readers can get a small peek at Palin's previously private conversations, including notes from her family. My favorite is a February 2008 email from Palin's daughter, Bristol -- the poster child for abstinence -- hitting her mom up for some dough.
 
"Hello Mother, Um, I'm sitting in library and I really thing you need to get Piper a cell phone!! Wouldn't that be so adorable! She could text me while she was in class!! It's a done deal right?! Perfect! Ok, I will talk to you later and I need some cash flow! Love ya!"

How adorable. Can't you imagine South Florida politicians having similar chats with their parents? Take Broward County Commissioner Stacy Ritter and her dad, former Tamarac commissioner Ed Portner, who threatened Ritter with a gun in 2009.

Hi Dad, I'm sitting here on the dais, and I really think you need to consider getting out of politics. I'm not sure you're thinking clearly and usually mayors have to be lucid at least 20% of the time. Seriously, how about dropping out of the race? I will talk to you later. And by the way, what's with the gun?

Or Rick Scott, writing to his mom:

Hi Mom, Thanks for the new TV ad supporting me. I always knew you believed in me. By the way, could you spot me a few thousand bucks? I had to sell off all my shares of Solantic, and now I can't afford the home waterboarding kit I've been craving. Thanks. It's a done deal, right?! Love ya!

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12 comments
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Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

Listen up, Douchebag extraordinaires:

Even Babe Ruth struck out; in fact, quite often. I would like to see some of you try to write for a living, under the pressure of producing entertaining and informative material on a consistent basis.

I only feel compelled to defend Lisa Rab because her overall body of work is outstanding. And anyone who continues to defend that vapid dingbat, Sarah Palin, is an embarrassment to the nation.

John Henry
John Henry

Anybody who thinks Rab's work is "outstanding" is a vapid dingbat.  The problem is that she is trying to write for a living--writing shouldn't be her primary job.  This should be done as a hobby.

Since Bob Norman left, this blog has turned into nothing but a bunch of young liberal "journalists" bitching about nonsense.  This article is literally nonsense--it has no real factual value. 

I would rather see Rab not try if articles like this is what we can expect from her in the future.

writer1
writer1

wow. first off, this is a blog -- not an "article." it's supposed to be funny, not information laden. if you want to read hard hitting, investigative news, then read rab's actual articles -- 4000 words of well researched, well sourced, breaking news. and for the record, i also thought bristol's email was pretty hilarious

First Hand
First Hand

New insult:When you wish to let a person know that they are a total dip shit, scumbag, brainless, anal wart; you can now just refer to them as a RAB!

Lisa Rab
Lisa Rab

I had no idea so many Palin supporters read this blog. Thanks for keeping it classy, folks.

First Hand
First Hand

Just as classy as the tactless and fact void hack job of an article you wrote.

Rab, you don't even have the talent of the ear wax that comes out of Palin's ears. You should really quit writing; Walmart needs greeters. 

glass slipper
glass slipper

Lisa Rab is a hack, she just continues to show that "it is not what you know but WHO YOU BLOW" to land a gig.

Guest
Guest

That's an unnecessary comment.

Way to hide behind your anonymity buddy.

First Hand
First Hand

Yeah, and everyone knows who you are posting as Guest. 

You are such a RAB!

anonymous
anonymous

@John Henry.  Agreed.  Norman was a boob, but at least he didn't totally make crap up.  (Well, sometimes he did, but he was more entertaining.)  This article is bullshit

BLOGreader
BLOGreader

This isn't an article, it is a blog. It is a joke.

John Henry
John Henry

A very, very stupid article.  Now I begin to miss Bob Norman

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