Understanding Your Comcast/Xfinity/NBC Bill

Categories: Business, Hilarity
broken tv.jpg
Flickr user: schmilblick
Monthly Statement*

$21.95 -- Xfinity TV

$54.95 -- Xfinity Performance Plus Internet

$6.12 -- Digital starter (We have no idea what this does.)

$1.74 -- State communications tax

$17.98 -- Broward County corruption tax

$64.23 -- Tax for electing Rick Scott

$11.13--  FPL rate hike

$39.84 -- Subsidy for first season of "Outsourced"

$79.81 -- Alec Baldwin's 401(k) plan

$99.99 -- We have exclusive rights to air the Olympics until 2024

$7.04 -- Lease for RCA modem made in 1993

$29.45 -- Service fee for fixing broken modem

$19.99 -- You weren't home for the service appointment

$81.79 -- We didn't show up, either!

$31.54 -- Your wireless router doesn't work with our modem

$12.22 -- Ant removal fee

$38.88 -- Endless WSFL-TV reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond"

$41.30 -- Somehow this goes to the GEO Group

$15.13 -- You cheered for the Dallas Mavericks last night

$62.23 -- HOA fee for your foreclosed neighbor, whose cable you are stealing

*inspired by the New Yorker

Follow The Pulp on Facebook and on Twitter: @ThePulpBPB.

My Voice Nation Help
6 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
The Pulp Blog
The Pulp Blog

Just to be clear, does the Broward corruption tax go toward helping stop corruption or create it? If it's creating it, then it's totally working.

freakerdude
freakerdude

$43.50 -- calling us about your cable network related problems

Bozo
Bozo

Love it !

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places Broward / Palm Beach

    Voice Places

    Find everything you're looking for in your city

  • Happy Hour App

    Happy Hour App

    Find the best happy hour deals in your city

  • Daily Deals

    Daily Deals

    Get today's exclusive deals at savings of anywhere from 50-90%

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    Check out the hottest list of places and things to do around your city