Okeechobee Zombie Apocalypse Plan Timed Perfectly for Actual Apocalypse
If so, head to Okeechobee, where the Emergency Operations Center director prepared a 75-page plan on how to respond to a "zombie apocalypse."
Mike Faulkner told the Okeechobee News that his plan, replete with organizational charts and orders for every local resident and government agency on how to react, was simply a weekend project in preparing for disasters. Faulkner has since left for greener pastures at -- where else? -- FEMA. But his plan has taken off on the net, linked from Twitter and Facebook and soon, I'm sure, the subject of late-night talk shows.
Faulkner's zombie apocalypse has some good lessons for those who might soon face the undead. Such as:
Forget the Feds
Fortified Bathrooms Are a Must
His and hers bathrooms won't necessarily be available in the governmental operations centers rushed together to fight off the flesh-eating animals, so if your latrine is outside, "it should be heavily fortified with plenty of security, and "buddy travel" procedures should be strictly adhered to." Probably a good rule even without zombies.
Don't Burn Those Corpses!
As with many governmental plans, a large chunk of this one is spent on waste. As in, what to do with all the debris that would surely be produced from a zombie war. But a rare exclamation point and underlining marks the importance of what's not to be disposed of: "Disposal of Corpses is not, under any circumstances, to be included in this portion of the plan! This is only for yard waste, debris and materials used to construct defenses or abandoned properties / vehicles / destroyed homes." Corpses, we're guessing, will be reserved in case feeding the zombies becomes necessary.
The Mailman Is Packing
Defining the Undead
It has never been clear exactly what zombies want, or why they've returned. Are they spirits of their former selves possessed by some spirit, or under the effect of some terrible diseases? Wonder no longer, thanks to this zombie apocalypse definition: "the Zombie Apocalypse is considered a mixture of a Civil Disturbance and a Pandemic Infection."
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