RIP, "Herb Caen"

I regret to report that the often far-out and always lovable Pulp commenter known as Herb Caen died in real life of lung cancer on Saturday morning at the age of 58.

A friend of Herb's who found my phone number in his phone after his death called to let me know. Herb called me only a couple of times, but he sent me dozens of emails during the last few years. And those missives, often with subject lines about "connecting the dots," had all the tell-tale signs of Herb Caen's work. There were conspiracy theories at every turn, sometimes with mysterious pizza boxes and beer cans strewn about. He would mix Scott Rothstein, Caylee Anthony, Joel Steinger, the Chinese, his mother in a nursing home, the Jewish Mafia (Herb was Jewish and I believe really did have some real-life brushes with some of those guys), and Ben Novack together into a chaotic tapestry held together only by his wildly inventive mind. 

The name Herb Caen, of course, was an homage to the legendary San Francisco Chronicle columnist of the same name who died in 1997. He never actually told me he was the person behind the moniker "Herb Caen Entertainment Award," but it was easy to see. His friend told me that Herb might not want to have his anonymity broken even in death, so I'll just say his name was Kevin. 

He was a South Floridian by birth, born in Coral Gables. Kevin lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past half-dozen years or so. His friend told me Kevin worked for years an acupuncturist and was a veritable "doctor of Chinese medicine." 

"Kevin was probably the most intelligent, caring, and healing person I ever knew in my life," said the friend. "And everyone who knew him felt that way." 

The friend confirmed that Kevin had a long history of paranoid delusions that had become more intense during these last few years. While I knew he was often mentally unfettered from reality, I had no idea he was physically ill. He had battled cancer in the past and was using holistic medicines to treat himself. His friend said he was in denial about how bad it had become, but it got unbearable last Tuesday that he could barely breathe. It was too late to help him -- the doctors and nurses kept Kevin as comfortable as possible before he died four days after he was admitted. 

His posts were wild mixtures of fact and fiction, odd and funny in their distinctive way. One thing about about Kevin was that even when he was seemingly off on a parallel planet, it was evident to all who read his comments that his words were coming from someone who was really trying to fight for the good fight -- and someone who never lost his sense of humor. His heart was very obviously fine to end. 

I was going to gather some classic Herb Caen comments together, but Model Citizen, by sheer coincidence, already accomplished the task under Friday's post. Inside, read MC's Top Ten Herb Caen posts. RIP Herb, one of the good guys.
10. herb caen entertainment award says: 
a man knocked on my door last week. I guess he looked up my IP.
He said,"It's all Jewish bank accounts that are being robbed".
My reply, "Its all Americans that are being robbed".
Posted On: Tuesday, Jan. 5 2010 @ 11:32AM 

9. herb caen entertainment award says: 
How do I get into Uranus?
How much does it cost to get into Uranus?
Can my friends come too?
It's so crowded in Uranus I can't see how to get out.
With this piece of paper I picked up inside Uranus can we come back for after hrs?
Uranus is white outside and black inside.
There was an emergency and everyone was pushing to get out of Uranus.
sorry I just had to doo that.
Posted On: Saturday, Jan. 2 2010 @ 9:12PM 

8. herb caen entertainment award says: 
They should make a floating hamburger stand out of the houseboat and let it go up and down the icw. Better yet an ice cream soda fountain boat with the employees dressed as clowns.
Posted On: Wednesday, Feb. 10 2010 @ 9:49AM 

7. herb caen entertainment award says: 
Who is the guy to the right of SR?
The duct tape used in the Caylee Anthony case is made by Henkel. The distributors are in Ohio and North Carolina. Mr Anthony used to be a cop in Ohio. The same duct tape was used on the posters looking for Caylee. 
Caylee may have just been adopted and not dead. Just a guess.
Posted On: Wednesday, Feb. 17 2010 @ 9:42AM

6. herb caen entertainment award says: 
SR had an office in CA. maybe he was trying to look like Google employees. Google employees come to work when they want, bring their pets and wear whatever they want even flip flops probably.
They wore flip flops to high school here.
That's this generation, the tatoo flip flop lawyers.
Posted On: Wednesday, Jan. 20 2010 @ 3:46PM 

5. herb caen entertainment award says: 
You guys are roughing it. All the way into the 70's you could get opiates over the counter in certain medications.
You didn't need to go to the Dr and pay for a visit and get a diagnosis.
You just needed a stomachache and a ride to Rexall.
Gourmet magazine when it began had all Liquor ads. Then as it grew its advertisers changed. Gourmet went out of business this yr. I think it began in the 50's.
New Times has its great new look. 
Speaking of drugs. I had a friend that made a documentary on meth labs and addicts in rural America. She said people would sell their urine in bread because there was meth in it. They would sell their scabs for the same reason. The meth moonshine version is so toxic they get these scabs and itch all the time. The city meth we have here is different. How low can you go? The police have stopped busting them because it cost $12,000.00 each arrest and to process them. The only places that are helping to rehap them are the churchs.
Moral here: Go to the Dr and get a script.
Posted On: Thursday, Jan. 21 2010 @ 11:42PM 


4.herb caen entertainment award says: 
@ anon 9:01am
Do you start every day thinking hostile thoughts?
You should have your oxytocin levels checked. 
This is a true test of a real bastard with criminal intent.
I look for every angle there could be.
You call this making shit up in your head.
If you are a lawyer our country is doomed.
Digging deeper, Mr Goodman is from Texas and his family business was Air Conditioning.
A former president passed a law on Fluro carbon emissions which caused the air conditioning industry a huge expense to change.
I found all of this on the internet.
Posted On: Sunday, Feb. 14 2010 @ 9:21AM 

3. herb caen entertainment award says: 
@ geico stack of money
You must be coming to the old folks home then. I'm a hall taxi. I help this old senile guy that used to be in the secret police. The old guys name is herb too. He wears either a secret police blue hat or a FSU red hat and shades. I had to pull two old ladies off him last week. When his wife left the women ganged up on him and started kicking him. I had to yank his chair away to get him to safety. The old herb never talks or bothers anyone so I couldn't figure out why the ladies ganged up on him. 
Posted On: Wednesday, Feb. 17 2010 @ 5:48PM 

2. herb caen entertainment award says: 
@geico stack of money
Remember they all bothered him. He did not bother anyone. They put people in his office, they messed with the Florida Medical Board, etrade, wachovia, janney montgomery, Schecter, patulo, denny, feldman, omeara, they are still at it. Oh yeah and the trash picker sent trash to Nancy Grace, Watts, Guidetti, Beery, should I keep going? Jones, Carlson, University Hosp, jackson Hosp, Holy Cross Hosp, Imperial Point hosp, Friedman, Shall I keep going? They all messed with him. Grayson, Nash, Stewart, Levine more? What happened 56 yrs ago Mr stack of money? Poisoned at Shooters, Injected and left to die in a parking lot in Adventura, Cancer diagnosis, Should I keep going Mr stack of money? False report to the Secret Service from Hotel Monaco, Hilton Hotel, Hilton Head,SC bought off room manager Marlene Macaluso, made sure the cops were called at every hotel, changed the spelling of his name, the forum newspaper office, Irene Brotman, Mrs Goldtein in Tamarac, Mrs Zuckerman in Levitt Weinstein, doubled all his checks, doubled all his contracts, got the nursing home to make the accounting look like he was irresponsible on payments,keep telling everyone to be mean to him, falses Dr reports, false police reports, false calls to the police, should I keep going? I haven't gotten to the politicians yet. Meds? Your gonna need meds after the perp walk. Sending crazy people in technique, nursing home Herb, secret police putting FSU hat on Herb and stealing Herbs hat that said Herb.lol Flattening his tires, keeping his gps activated, Isabel Cruz. more? City workers putting chemicals in his water during work hrs. more? Sending fake phone calls to his phone and sending strippers, people that work in strip clubs or cruise line people to his home. 
It has all been watched from the very beginning. I think you will definitely need meds shortly. 
You see his family had to have him claimed mentally incompetant to take over his estate from the trustee. Just like Ronald Novack. SR and KR were only character actors in the technique. They had to make sure his whole life he could become no one.
Oh yeah and then there's Gibralter bank.
Ben Novack, Ronald Novack and this guy all matriculated through the Fountainbleau Hotel in the 50's and 60's. hmmmm
Posted On: Friday, Feb. 19 2010 @ 10:09AM 

1. Pulp is doing a great job investigating and reporting.
Posted On: Saturday, Jan. 30 2010 @ 5:41PM

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48 comments
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jad
jad

I just heard about yourpassing. R.I.P. herb caenentertainment award.

Goldilocks
Goldilocks

Just heard. I am so sorry. RIP HCEA.

Mourner
Mourner

RIP

Makes me wonder how Ghost of Whitey Bulger is doing. Only a few posts but they were powerful posts.

B_tan
B_tan

I absolutely thought of Ghost of Whitey Bulger too.

DeadNormAbromowitz
DeadNormAbromowitz

well pulpster...maybe it is good that you are leaving and the pulp will be going as well. It will turn into the " Fonzi Jumps the Shark episode of Happy Days, clinging to memories. when an anonymous person passes away and it enacts feelings, well that says something about the blogging community of Pulp. I too have been thinking of letting Dead Norm rot in peace. A new moniker may infuse new life, but I think Norm's time has come and it is time to evolve, otherwise we become exticnt, so letta, e get outta here as I am starting to fuckin' well up, dis ain't happen since....fuck, it never happened and I don't like the feelin', hey peeps, later, I'll tell Herb hi for ya when I sees him!

DeadNormabormowitz
DeadNormabormowitz

OK, peeps, first and foremost, " I ain't up there", youse should sees all the peeps around,where I stay....and yes I saw Usama ( he hates it when we misspell his name0 anyway, fuck, he gets to be satan's righthand man! satan is like all gussied up over him, it's Osama this and Osama that, pizzes me the fuck off, I mean, except for the mass murdering I was pretty sleazy myself. Anyway, we all got a big chuckle when osama was presented with his 40 vigins! Good fuckin' reason they are all virgins!!! Uglyist bitches i ever saw, I think a few are transgenders ( not that there is anything wrong with that), a few are retarded, some are fat and not cute chunky fat, but Biggest Loser fat, a few are transvestites and one i think is his mom, I laughed so hard i threw up in my mouth! Good news is, Usama was pizzed!!!He's like, satan " whad da fuck?" I did everything you asked, I killed for you, I was evil like you, why did you do this to me?????, get this, satan states and i quote " Why do you think I am satan?, I'm not good to anybody!!!!! We laughed so hard that Hitler had snot on that lil' mustache thing......

unowho
unowho

DNA I agree its time to move on and evolve you sure gots the talent and, it kinda hits home when one of Bobs dysfunctional family passes away.. And just for the hell of it could you give that SOB POS Bin Laden a good hard kick in the nuts before you leave...Thanks for the laughs Norm!!!

IrvingFeiner
IrvingFeiner

unowho, I dont think that Bin Laden made it up to where DNA is. He went in the other direction.

Judge Roy Bean
Judge Roy Bean

How do we know where DNA is. He did some bad things in life. One funny man in death!

Dustin Mifartz
Dustin Mifartz

Rough week.Pulp is leaving and herb goes to the box.

larryboy
larryboy

RIP Herb. No one but a mensch like you would have taken the time to notice that Shirley McClain had a good aura.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Life, so they say, is but a game and we let it slip away.Love, like the Autumn sun, should be dyin' but it's only just begun.Like the twilight in the road up ahead, they don't see just where we're goin'.And all the secrets in the Universe, whisper in our earsAnd all the years will come and go, take us up, always up.We may never pass this way again.

Seals and Crofts

An end of an era.Bob moves on from The Pulp...herb passes on....the Pulp Nation mourns ....

So, I wanna laugh while the laughin' is easy. I wanna cry if it makes it worthwhile.We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you.'Cause, you make me feel like I'm more than a friend. Like I'm the journey and you're the journey's end.We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you, baby.

hmm.....thoughts whilst drinking the chamomile tea tonight...

B_tan
B_tan

I once had an exchange with herb. I wrote in his defense and used the moniker "Herb Fan Club" and wrote: "Leave Herb alone. Herb is intelligent and has a heart of gold. So what if he has a paranoid delusion or two? We all have our quirks."

Herb had a sense of humor about himself. This is how he responded: "Thanks for the compliment. Paranoid, delusional with quirks I always get my man!"

Can't stop thinking about you tonight herb. I hope your last few days weren't too painful & you're at peace now. Godspeed to you.

Guest
Guest

“When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box” Italian Proverb

unowho
unowho

Very sad to have my little mystery solved on how some commentors "poof" are gone without goodbyes or explanaton of their demise.Everytime I saw a Geico Stack of Money commercial I would think of good ole Herbie .I guess Dead Norm will have new company from the most evil (Bin Laden) to the strangest but nicest gentleman we have ever had on this blog..PS Old Herbie died on my Birthday!!!

THE GRIM REAPER
THE GRIM REAPER

Herb Is With Me And He Is Finallt At Peace. A Good Man Should Have No Fear Of Death.

Christy
Christy

Trivia Herb Question.

What was Herb's other name before he became Herb Caen Entertainment Award?

First person 2 answer this correct will get $3.00 off Pizza Coupon.

Guest
Guest

old fart

Christy
Christy

Herb O' Farts!!

Guest
Guest

That's right....It is very sad that he's gone.. It's funny how you never really know who's behind the posts and what's going on in their lives. Just think how many told him to take his meds. Good Bye Herb...My sympathys to his friends and family.

Christy
Christy

Very, Very Close Glitters.. Try Again.

Guest
Guest

Sorry Christy, that's all I have. We should all share som pizzas and beer with the other Pulpsters in tribute to Herb though.

Model Citizen
Model Citizen

He sometimes used "Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe".

Christy
Christy

close but not the answer I was lookng for. Try Again MC.

Nucky Thompson
Nucky Thompson

R.I.P Mr Award.

Only your passing could knock Osama Bin Laden's death off the front page.

Model Citizen
Model Citizen

Wow. I'm very saddened by this news. While I did correspond with Kevin via email a few times and knew that he clearly suffered from some form of mental illness, I was unaware that he had lung cancer and was nearing the end of his life. As others have noted, beneath the paranoid veneer he was a sweet and intelligent man. I sure hope he is finally at peace.

B_tan
B_tan

I thought of you right away MC when I heard this. Those pics...:(

Guest
Guest

I second that and more. It was so very evident that he was a good man with a good heart and I enjoyed and laughed at his posts. One thing was for sure he enjoyed commenting on Bob's Blog and felt he had a community of friends here. RIP Herb

Guest
Guest

This ones for you Herb....Deep doo doot

Parkland man
Parkland man

Hey parkland man is back In town Ok I'm glad to hear We killed that pos camel jockey mf I think hey was a lawyer lol So where's the party how about parkland county club let me know I will set it up,maybe Stacy Ritter will come she loves the idear That bob is leaving I'm sure, but let's hope he stay's on her ass with ch 10 ok let me know,if parkland c c works the place is really nice and i been a member for years and yea they know I hate lawyers

Christy
Christy

Herb,

It was always a pleasure to read your posts. A kind man. Rest in Peace and condolences toHerb's friends and family. I just opened a beer in memory of herb and I am having Pizza tonight. I will throw my pizza box and beer bottle outside my door tonight. RIP, Herb.

Hellvis
Hellvis

R.I.P. Herb, Condolences to family and friends.

kevink
kevink

Bummer. RIP Herb. You sure made me laugh ....

skydove
skydove

R.I.P. Herb. He was an old soul who played the hand he was dealt with good humor and dignity. People like him -- really witty, really kind -- are really rare.

B_tan
B_tan

RIP Herb, you had such a gentle soul.

Elvis has left the pulp
Elvis has left the pulp

I thought Herb, virgil and chaz were the same persons.

Donald Trump
Donald Trump

Try not to think. It's not your strong suit.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

Not at all. Chaz is presently staked outside of the Broward County courthouse waiting for the Sylvia Poitier trial to commence and I actually run the gay/jewish mafia.

La Kosher Fegele'.

R.I.P. Herb.

DeathFrog3
DeathFrog3

I remember we were posting about a real crime involving gays and someone thought that he really was on to something.

RIP Herb.

The loss of Herb, the moving on of Pulp, this has been a sad weekend.

Perhaps Mayan Prophecies being fulfilled?

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

And now it will be up to Model Citizen to carrry on his legacy and for MMII's as well....rest in the presence of peace, herb....

gimmesamore
gimmesamore

RIP Herb - always thought you were nuts, but always entertaining.

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