Gov. Rick Scott Makes It Official: You Have Only Four Months to Legally Have Sex With Animals

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Sad news today for all of Florida's horse-humpers and goat-gropers -- you have only four more months to have sex with animals.

Gov. Rick Scott today signed the Legislature's anti-bestiality bill -- Senate Bill 344 -- which makes it illegal for humans to get jiggy with other members of the animal kingdom beginning October 1.

This was actually the third attempt by the Legislature to ban barnyard bangin', since legislators were convinced they were wasting their time on something that never happens.

Think again.

In 2009, a Panhandle man asphyxiated the family goat while having sex with it, and there was a horse incident in the Keys shortly thereafter.

And don't forget, Cody Beck is still out there somewhere, along with the other estimated 2 to 8 percent of the population researchers believe lust for animal pleasure.

Scott's signature comes with good timing too, since horse herpes is running rampant in other parts of the country.

Thus, in October, it'll become illegal to fondle, have sex with, help someone else have sex with, cause someone to have sex with, have sexual contact with "however slight," or permit someone on your property to have sex with an animal.

If you're really concerned about getting caught screwing animals after October 1, don't fret -- it's only a misdemeanor.

Read the entire text of the bill here.


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Virectin
Virectin

Lol, I don't believe that. You must be kidding. Whatever, But it sounds very idiotic and ridiculous. 

James Smith
James Smith

I wonder how this will affect horse and cattle breeders who essentially masturbate stallions and bulls to obtain semen, the artificially inseminate the mares and cows?

Technically, they will be in violation of that law.  When the totalitarian theocracy is in charge, they will take advantage of this to incarcerate people sleeping with their pets.

Cab
Cab

When Oregon was considering their law several years ago one of the committee members pointed out that their law also didn't allow for farmers/ranchers who get intimate with their animals for other than recreational purposes... and their law has the same flaw. That same committee member, when it was pointed out that "obviously" no prosecutor was going to bring a charge against someone for other than noble moral reasons, expressed their lack of faith in the good intents of prosecutors of the law.  Ask Bubba the Love Sponge up in Tampa about mis-application of (cruelty) laws by prosecutors being cheered on by Animal Rights (AR) nuts.

Interestingly one of the Portland, Oregon AR twits pushing for the "oh so needed" bestiality law there tried to make a case for the law needing to also cover farmers who, while they *might* be collecting semen or inseminating a cow to further their business, are at the same time mentally getting a thrill from that activity.  A committee member rightly asked if they wanted the law to outlaw an activity or a mental state.

This type of usually badly written legislation is generally pushed for by the obscene blending of religious moral crusaders in conjunction with anti-human Animal Rights freaks.  The resulting bizarre chimera spawning these rarely-used laws is itself quite a freak-show.

CabFormerly of Plant City, FL

James Smith
James Smith

I wonder how large a problem this is for Florida?  I have lived there in Boca Raton and Panama City and never heard of any cases of this in either place.  I'm assuming you are correct about the religious reich and jerks like PETA getting their panties in a knot and looking for something thnat they can be offended about.

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Garibaldees horse
Garibaldees horse

People 0  Beasties 1

I guess somebody got caught trying to re-define animal husbandry!

Peter Voth
Peter Voth

You can't even fondle the wee beasties? That's no fun.

Frederick Kann
Frederick Kann

I'm sure that soon Scott will announce his job-creating antibestiality task force.

Wearespacepeople
Wearespacepeople

Yeah but, what if the animal WANTS it? :)

Arthur
Arthur

Why are they waiting until October? Do the offenders need time to gradually ween off their habit?

JSkool101
JSkool101

The bill does not exclude sex with species Homo Sapiens. The nut cases have just made all sex a misdemeanor.

Pat jones
Pat jones

 hilarious!! Thank you!! Best laugh in months!!! and the photo is well...befitting.... 

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