Coral Ridge Ministries, Sodomy, and Death

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Imagine you are Jesus Christ and you're scuba diving. Somewhere in the mid-Atlantic, you come upon a submarine. With your famed omniscience, you divine its nature, its contents, and its capabilities. This is the USS Florida, an Ohio-class vessel, fresh from the Libyan coast. It's almost 600 feet long. It's got guns. It's got a mess of torpedo tubes. It's retrofitted to launch nuke-equipped Tomahawks with the destructive power of up to ten times that of Little Boy, the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. (Just one of these weapons, if detonated over the intersection of Oakland Park Boulevard and Andrews Avenue, would destroy everything between Pompano Beach and Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.) Within the USS Florida's steel guts are 170 sailors, one of whom is a chaplain and several of whom are homosexual. Of this latter group, one of them has a beau back home and means for the chaplain to marry the pair in a civil ceremony when the boat gets back to port.

Now: Of all the goings-on on this very interesting submarine, which bothers you the most? Here's what Jerry Newcombe of Coral Ridge Ministries has to say:

The Pentagon is already pushing hard to reverse God's moral law as it trains the troops to accept homosexuality. Now the Navy takes it one step further, giving the go-ahead for Navy chaplains to defy Federal Law [and] the Defense of Marriage Act, which limits marriage to a man and a woman.

That's from the Sun-Sentinel, in an article about Coral Ridge Ministry's reaction to the Navy's new (but now temporarily suspended) policy of training chaplains to perform same-sex marriages. This is a very, very big deal to the Coral Ridgians -- they've reportedly sent an alarmed letter to 160,000 of their coreligionists about the policy, imploring supporters to gripe to Congress.

Coral Ridge Ministries is one of America's sole necrotheistic institutions, still faithfully, lovingly, kind-of-creepily-obsessively rebroadcasting the utterances of its dearly departed founder, the noted dominionist and young-Earth creationist D. James Kennedy. The group has devoted considerable time and energy to promulgating what it supposes were Jesus' feelings regarding the proper usage of human genitals. They are also famously pro-war. In 2003, D. James Kennedy was a signee of the "Land Letter," which supported George W. Bush's intention to wage a preemptive defensive war in Iraq, with the specific understanding that "our government, unlike Hussein, will not target civilians and will do all that it can to minimize noncombatant casualties."

That was eight years and more than 100,000 "noncombatant casualties" ago. If the good people of Coral Ridge Ministries must make statements about proper military conduct, the humble course might be first to apologize for this disastrous miscalculation. And if their previously stated concern for civilian casualties is genuine, they may wish to reconsider what it is on a naval vessel that is most abhorrent in sight of their god. As it stands, they appear more concerned with the erosion of the nuclear family in America than with the nuclear vaporization of families abroad. I suspect that Jesus, if he ever existed, would think their priorities a little queer.

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39 comments
Nucky Thompson
Nucky Thompson

"Omniscience" , "Necrotheistic". "Dominionist" "Promulgating" What happened ,Brandon, did you swallow a dictionary ? The readers on this site are more interested in tailgating than promulgating so if you could lighten up on the wordsmithing in future I'd really appreciate it.

Cheers

Nucky

Wordsmithy
Wordsmithy

The commandment from Christ that these people violate every day is this one:

"Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's."

My understanding of that admonition is that Jesus didn't want his followers mixed up in politics or anything to do with the present. Instead, he wanted them to care for the poor and the sick, and perform good deeds that would be rewarded in the afterlife.

Politicians like Huckabee and Palin, who seem to want to BE Caesar, are totally un-Christian in my way of thinking. And all these fanatical moralists who use Bible passages as political pulpits or bludgeons should not even call themselves followers of Christ. They disgrace the entire religion, as the terrorists do Islam. Murdering abortion providers is the antithesis of the beliefs Christ taught.

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

And these are the same people who rant and rave about where Common and President Obama went to church?

See I love how the right wing christians always apparently know best, yet are the ones who do the worse..Im looking at YOU Haggard (and to the pedophile priests). At which point should we listen to these "moral compasses" and be everything they want us to be? When they cant even do what they preach?

As a straight (although asexual at this point) man, I could care less who gets married or who is boffing who. Why is this? Cause I learned a LONG time ago to keep my nose out of other peoples business. Although I know of some gay relationships that were a HELL of a lot more stable than something more "traditional".

Look, if it makes someone just that more happy, then who the are you to tell them no? Just how does it affect you if two people get married?

And I am pretty sure your god wouldnt mind. I think they keep saying Jesus says to turn the other cheek and judge not unless ye be judged. Or those without sin can cast the first stone or something like that. I think the churchies might need to start reading and comprehending what is being said. Cause they sure as hell are not now.

Guest
Guest

I guess you could call this a fluff piece

NoSacredCow
NoSacredCow

Seriously it's well past time to yank Coral Ridge Ministries exemption.

Now we have backwards yahoos down here in SoFla, so just think about how "ignant" their compatriots are in the more redneck parts of the state.

Wordsmithy
Wordsmithy

You forgot to mention CR Ministries' federal tax exemption -- after all, they're completely nonpolitical, of course -- and you should see the powerful, in-depth documentary they produced last year warning of the dangers of socialism in America, with lengthy interviews with such government experts as Sarah Palin. Makes you wonder what would Jesus do.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

Like I have been saying for years, there is nothing christian about this modern day cult filled with warmongers, xenophobes and homophobes.

And for the record, I am a raging heterosexual who supports social justice for everyone.

*affidavits available upon request

Woodlands
Woodlands

They sure are spreading alot of fairy dust on this blog since Bob left.......Not that there is anything wrong with that....

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

making that going to get sorry for the typos!

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

So when is the New Times goinng t get a religon writer?

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Wordsmithy, you have a limited understanding of Biblical texts.

Patti Lynn
Patti Lynn

You forgot HYPOCRITES Virg....such as Newt, attacking Clinton while conducting his own extra-marital affair....and Trump...Dole..Reagan, and others, spouting the sanctity of marriage while "trying it out" with 2 or three different women!

Wahwah
Wahwah

If G-d meant for us to plunge our torpedos up another male's garbage shute, He would surely have made us all of us French.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

We understood what you meant. Your post was equally ignorant when it was spelled correctly.

Patti Lynn
Patti Lynn

I believe that his interpretation is much closer to the meaning of biblical text than anything that YOU might come up with. Republicans, evangelicals, and tea party people are extremely selfish. They seem doomed to repeat bad history rather than learn their lessons.

Markal36
Markal36

Please educate us with you abundant and enlightened understanding of Biblical texts.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Loved how Clinton said he wasn't having sex...what IS the definition of IS?????

Guest
Guest

Dope...How does it hurt you? why are you interfering in someone else's life and telling them how to live? Not everyone believes in God. What goes on behind close doors in their bedroom is not your business. To each his own.. You hypocrite Bastard!

NoSacredCow
NoSacredCow

you mean Greek. And it's chute. (for future reference) And G-d should be spelled "imaginary father figure for whom you get down on your knees in front of"

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Virgil, your immature, ignorant understanding of Christianity is showing. Go back to something you can stay coherent about.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

By the way, Gail Shepherd who wrote for The Juice was also openly gay and would often write about news from that perspective...it was grade A quality stuff....didn't always agree with her, but she was up there in the major leagues....

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Virgie sweetheart, this post wasn't about religion...it wasn't even about the ignorant and dare I say it, un-Christian policies of Coral Ridge ministries...it was nothing more than a hyperbolic diatribe against a very narrow minded fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible that this particulair congregation espouses.... it's inflamatory opinion masquerading as information....THAT, dear Virgil is why I made th comment...apparently my point and inuendo were above your comprehension...

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Unfortunately Glitters you are as ignorant about Christianity as Patti Lynn.  Both of you are women with good intent, but trust me, you are out of your league in this argument.

Guest
Guest

I could not have said that better!

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Yves Conger, Karl Rahner, Teilhard de Chardin, Eric Boenhoffer, Bernard Lonegran, Edward Schillebeecx, Hangs Kung....unfortunately not a whole lot of women...

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Patti Lynn, You do not know what you are talking about. This is not my interpretation. It is the written commentary from the greatest theological thinkers of the 20 and 21st century. Read a little, honey.There is no excuse for ignorarance inthis day and age. Want me to send you a bibliography????

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Well Wordsmithy is correct that the fanatical moralists are like the Islamic extremists and corrupt the true meaning of the religion they espouse. However, Jesus did not tell his followers to absolve themselves from society- but rather be a light to the world, the city upon the hill. Fulfill the responsibilities of their citizenry fully, but do it in a thoughtful, loving,honest, full of integrity manner.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Model,Only in your fantasies!!!! 

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

You are right Glitters, about Newt. That is one of the reasons I would never vote for him. 

Guest
Guest

How about Newts infidelities. He left 2 of his wifes when they were very ill(one with cancer the other with MS)All the while having affairs. What a reptile!

Patti Lynn
Patti Lynn

ATG...RIGHT ON!!!! As long as the participants are of legal age, NO ONE....let me repeat...NO ONE should be able to tell them who to love, nor how to love them!!!

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Narrow, outdated immature perception of God you have there babe.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Virgil, Unfortunately Disqus won't let me respond in the appropiate location to your "intimate" discourse. Again, you know little of what you speak. Only a fraction of Christians espouse a fundamentalist theology or are evangelicals. Do all of us a favor and read up on the theology of Lurtherans, Catholics, Epsicopalians, Presbyterians, etc. Most Christians for example, are contextualists not literalists. But once again you define a braod concept into the littel bitty pieces that your m ind can handle. Christianity is much bigger than your understanding of it.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

Augusta:

I am intimately aware of christianity in ways that you could never imagine because of your preconceived notion of who I am. I deal with far too many christians who hold their own twisted view of christianity. (Onward christian soldier)

Far too many are xenophobic, homophobic, anti-science, and of course, dismissive of the poor if it means paying a little more in taxes.

The american evangelical movement is a blight upon this nation and represents the greatest obstacle to social justice and scientific advancement.

Won't you step out of the dark ages?

nanook5
nanook5

the problem with coral ridge isn't their "congregation," it's their "ministry," which distributes homophobic and xenophobic materials across the country and beyond. if they really promoted that much bigotry directly from their congregation they'd face far stiffer resistance.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

This "particular congregation"? Did you mean to say, almost every Christian congregation in the country? Was that an attempt at comedy?

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