Fake Exorcists From Broward Arrested

Categories: Broward News
Saintfrancisborgia_exorcism.jpg
St. Francis Borgia was full of it, too.
Our benighted federal prosecutors are in for a bumpy ride.

As of yesterday, a few of these unlucky do-gooders have been charged with the task of punishing three women arrested for performing expensive fake exorcisms. The women, who hail from Broward, are 36-year-old Polly Evans; her 22-year-old daughter, Olivia Evans; and Polly's 32-year-old sister, Bridgitte Evans. The exorcisms were performed via mail order, in the style of the latter-day Peter Popoff. A prospective mark received a letter saying something to the effect of: "Beware! You are under spiritual assault! Send money immediately!" Some folks did.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Evanses' exorcisms were fake. There is also no doubt in my mind that every other exorcism ever performed in the history of the species was equally fake. It is unclear what separates the Evanses' exorcisms from those performed by, say, certain atavistic priests, except that the Evanses are a little more gauche. (According to the Washington Post, one mark was told that her demons couldn't be exorcised until she ponied up a Rolex watch.)

Perhaps the difference has to do with an error in the Evanses' sales pitch. To wit: They apparently told their marks that their money would be returned the moment the exorcism was successfully completed. Nobody got any money back. (Surprised?) If this is the source of the prosecutors' ire, presumably some poor lawyer will be forced to present evidence that either the exorcisms were successful or that no exorcisms were needed in the first place. Good luck on that one.
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18 comments
Ms. Liz
Ms. Liz

Brandon, this is a very funny report. However, if it may be possible to pry open your mind a little in regards to the subject of exorcism, I recommend to you a popular book that endorses exorcism -- People of the Lie:  Hope for Healing Human Evil, written by Dr. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist.Following the notorious MyLai Massacre, in which American soldiers shot and killed several hundred unarmed civilians in South Vietnam in 1968, the Army Surgeon General appointed Dr. Peck chairman of a committee that met in 1972 to make recommendations for research that might shed light on the psychological causes of the atrocity at MyLai.The research Dr. Peck's committee proposed was rejected by the General Staff of the Army, reportedly on the grounds that it could not be kept secret and might prove embarrassing to the administration and that "further embarrassment was not desirable at that time". (Chapter 6, "MyLai: An Examination of Group Evil") Dr. Peck, who died in 2005, is known most for the many bestselling books he published from 1978 to 1999. Prior to his career as a bestselling author, however, he served in the United States Army from 1963 until 1972, when he resigned from the position of Assistant Chief Psychiatry and Neurology Consultant to the Surgeon General of the Army with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and the Meritorious Service Medal with oak leaf cluster. Not your usual shaman.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

Brandon, With all due respect , your sarcastic attitude in the tone of this story discounts any of your credibility. Had you done any REAL research, instead of just writing an excited National Enquirer fodder piece, you would have learned that real exorcisms have occured, albeit under very rare and exceptional circumstances. So, instead of an insightful pieceof journalism, you provide marshmellow fluff. Yawn...and thatis the reason, why so many members of Pulp Nation never invested in The Juice.

Gefilte_Fish
Gefilte_Fish

A few more of these and I am out of here. This blog is what it is, NOT because of Bob Norman BUT of hard nose journalism exposing the Politicos corruption and shennanigans.

Please replace Bob with someone whom will blog about south florida corrupts, thank you.

The conspiracy in me is begining to think, someone was lobbying channel 10 to get Bob out of here.

NOW...now...now I am not saying he does not deserve it but....the conspiracy theorist in me is thinking otherwise.

I am do not mind the fillers from time to time but I am pretty sure their is alot of dirt out there is someone is looking.

KennyPowersSays
KennyPowersSays

"fake exorcisms" is redundant. That implies that there are "genuine/legitimate exorcisms"

Guest
Guest

Consider it an opportunity to find a life.

LolaB.
LolaB.

Doomed.....this was simply stupid.

Waste of time
Waste of time

This is the new PULP site. Its headed down hill fast.

Hellvis
Hellvis

Sun Sent wrote about this yesterday.

B_tan
B_tan

First...

but what's the point? :(

Ms. Liz
Ms. Liz

I'm copying to you here my comment from above:a popular book that endorses exorcism -- People of the Lie:  Hope for Healing Human Evil, written by Dr. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist.Following the notorious MyLai Massacre, in which American soldiers shot and killed several hundred unarmed civilians in South Vietnam in 1968, the Army Surgeon General appointed Dr. Peck chairman of a committee that met in 1972 to make recommendations for research that might shed light on the psychological causes of the atrocity at MyLai.The research Dr. Peck's committee proposed was rejected by the General Staff of the Army, reportedly on the grounds that it could not be kept secret and might prove embarrassing to the administration (Chapter 6, "MyLai: An Examination of Group Evil"). Dr. Peck, who died in 2005, is known most for the many bestselling books he published from 1978 to 1999. Prior to his career as a bestselling author, however, he served in the United States Army from 1963 until 1972, when he resigned from the position of Assistant Chief Psychiatry and Neurology Consultant to the Surgeon General of the Army with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and the Meritorious Service Medal with oak leaf cluster. Not your usual shaman.

Brandon K. Thorp
Brandon K. Thorp

Hiya, GefilteFish, and thanks for reading.

I'm not Bob's replacement. I've been writing for the last six months at The Juice, the other New Times blog, which has now merged with The Pulp. Before that I was the New Times' theater critic for five years.

I usually do editorial, not reporting, and my usual beats are religion and politics. Other folks, such as Lisa Rab and Stefan Kampf, will I'm sure satisfy your hunger for hard news. I'm only around for a few more weeks anyway. In the meantime, I hope something I post here will engage your interest.

Danke,

- BKT

Judge Roy Bean
Judge Roy Bean

Me thinks you may have hit the nail on the head. What they see as a road block to get what they want, can be destroyed in more than one way. Fill the blog with meaningless stories and no one will read it.

Gefilte_Fish
Gefilte_Fish

Fuck the syntax and misspelling, I was emotional and in a hurry to post my comments.....

Goldilocks
Goldilocks

Either that, or waste yet more time on FB.Boo.

Ms. Liz
Ms. Liz

Brandon, where r u going? Can we follow your writing elsewhere?

B_tan
B_tan

Heh Brandon,

Thanks for explaining. Sorry if we're being hard on you all... and it's not AGAINST you, or any of the NT writers/reporters. We're just rather attached to Bob, and to this community and are still in the "reacting"stage.

Dr_augusta
Dr_augusta

I hope you can Stefan. Cuz this particulair "piece of journalism" proffered is so far beneath Bob, it is laughable.

Stefan Kamph
Stefan Kamph

Speaking for myself, as a naive but fairly clever young reporter with Juice blogging experience, I'm scared shitless, but excited, to be tasked with keeping (some of) Bob's loyal followers happy (some of the time).

While Lisa and I will be focusing largely on feature writing, I hope to seize the chance to do more of the rip-roarin' reportin' that can get lost in a world of aggregation. Bob's absence only serves as another encouragement to do so.

React away! I find that it's a lovely way to make friends.

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