Obama's Birth Certificate and the Unsinkable Donald

Categories: Politics
5440990018_6b35706d53_m.jpg
It takes a special kind of person to be smug about conclusive proof of one's idiocy, but Donald Trump has practice. He was smug about the disastrous bankruptcy that resulted from his hubristic overreach; he was smug about refusing to pay unknown millions to European creditors after the real estate market crash. Now that Barack Obama has released his birth certificate, proving that Trump's months of breathless conspiracy-theorizing were a waste of thought and airtime, he has attained a level of virtuosic smuggery that may be unrivaled in the history of rich assholedom.

To be sure: Barack Obama's decision to release his birth certificate now, on April 27, 2011, is a brilliant bit of political brinksmanship. Obama has some experience in allowing politically fraught situations to degrade almost unto collapse before swooping in, sane and suave, and providing the clarity that eluded his noisier, sweatier fellow politicians -- that was the general strategy that resulted in the legislation now known as "Obamacare." But even by Obama's standards, today's birth-certificate release was a masterstroke. A less cool dude would have observed the bitching of the chattering classes, observed even his supporters beginning to wonder exactly what he was hiding, and caved weeks ago. Maybe years.

But Obama knew three things.

1) He knew that his birth certificate was nobody's business.

2) He knew that it was nobody's business especially because catering to paranoiacs is a losing game, and only paranoiacs seriously thought the certificate might contain some ugly irregularity that Hillary Clinton's trained killers failed to sniff out in 2008.

3) And Obama knew that if he could hold onto his certificate just long enough for some cynical politician to bank his credibility on the president's refusal to release it, Obama could torpedo an unscrupulous political foe without lifting a finger.

Obama knew all of this, and he was right. Except he didn't count on Trump. Trump is no ordinary politician. He's not even an ordinary celebrity billionaire. The man's utter absence of shame is pathological, his sense of self-promotion Mozartian in its genius. He insults his audience's intelligence so volubly, with such brio, that half the time, we're unaware of the assault. We can only marvel, slack-jawed, at the dumbfounding spectacle of Trump's unending carnival of Trumpiness.

And so "The Donald" didn't miss a beat when Obama revealed his birth certificate -- he may, in fact, have had his responses ready weeks ago. Speaking in Washington, D.C., this morning, Trump took credit for Obama's big reveal, saying:

Today I'm very proud of myself, because I've accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish.

Yes -- he's elicited a bit more proof that the most famous, scrutinized, and thoroughly vetted human being on the planet was born where he says he was born. All it cost was days' worth of media time diverted from the coverage of three American wars and an unfolding disaster in Japan and the pointless further erosion of America's faith in her elected leaders.

Also, to be fair, Trump has uncovered one fact that somebody may find useful down the line -- that arrogance and volume are the greatest weapons against Barack Obama's preternatural coolness and androidal strategizing. The Donald groks this intuitively and has already figured out the subject of his next barrage of anti-Obamisms. Now, he says, he intends to go after the president's academic performance as an undergrad.

If he must, he must. Money is one hell of a megaphone, so I guess we'll have to resign ourselves to taking it in the ear for a while longer.


Follow The Juice on Facebook and on Twitter: @TheJuiceBPB.
My Voice Nation Help
23 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
catos78
catos78

Poliitcamente hablando, la vida de cada persona esta expuesta al publico, sea lo que sea, no solo eso, sino que a su ves estan expuestas tanto a criticas como a cualquier otro argumento que el publico desee. No todo el mundo tiene la capacidad de pelear limpio, especialmente cuando se trata de una lucha de poder. Trump no es politico, es una artista del dinero y de la impresion, pero aun asi le falta la diplomacia y la austucia para la politica. 

Parkland man
Parkland man

Is there any good news out there today about lawyers passing away yesterday.

Parkland man
Parkland man

Hey Chaz says he don't Need a house to live in because he travels so much,where has he been going besides the courthouse and commission meetings,did he renew his bus pass this year,and he don't have a girlfriend at 45 I would think he would be married by now,maybe he goes to the pool deck tea parties with virigin.lol

Stacey
Stacey

The president should have released this long ago, but it benefited him to keep it going. It benefited him to release it when he did. It's all politics plain and simple. The whole racist crap is bs. I am sure there are some people who are, but most are not. the president works for the citizens of the usa. When he is asked for something as simple as a birth cert, he should have shown it long ago. And to the person who spews, blah , blah, blah, that his attorneys had to petition, etc, etc, who gives a shit, his attorneys have been working anyway, why not have them do it??? Because it benefited him not to. Plain and simple. Mr. "I am not a politician" is simply a politician like everyone else. BTW...I never cared about seeing the bc, and always figured he WAS born in the USA. But those that use this to use the race card are stupid and superbly annoying!!

Jsmith
Jsmith

Hey Brandon, what planet do you live on? You think Obama wanted to get played by Trump in such an embarrasing fashion? Haven't made up my mind yet about The Donald, but no amount of Thorp-spin can change the fact that Trump succeeded where others never did.

Diogenes6670
Diogenes6670

Trump was played like a grand piano, plain and simple. No sooner had he told Anderson Cooper 'that the birth certificate is missing. . . . it’s not there or it doesn’t exist," than The President releases the so-called long-form certificate in question. You'd think that would shut Trump's mouth, but no -- now he's off to cast a cloud on The President by raising doubts about his intelligence, his academic records, and so on and so forth, while those for whom no amount of truth will penetrate their consciousness, the long-form certificate is without evidentiary value. Who are they kidding, except others like them?

None of it matters -- Obama is doing the job he was elected to do, which is to right the ship of state that George Bush and his cronies capsized. Need I remind you that Bush, during his 8 years in office, more than doubled the National Debt (from $5.8 to $11.9 trillion) and increased the Budget Deficit by more than 10-fold (from $133 billion to nearly $1.9 trillion). http://home.adelphi.edu/sbloch...

And the stock market, it went from around 10,500 to around 8,200 during the Bush years; and from around 8,200 to 12,500 on April 22, 2011 under President Obama.

Enough said, I think. Have a good weekend, everyone.

Wayne_alexander
Wayne_alexander

Brillant. Your description of The Donald and his persona is not dead accurate, it's quite literate and very funny. I especially like "unrivaled in the history of rich assholedom."

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

This is another very well written and well reasoned piece by Brandon Thorp. You could never find anything like this in the Sun Sentinel or the Herald.

Calvin Clifford Mortz
Calvin Clifford Mortz

The closeted & not-so-closeted racists will surely develop yet another tactic of smear aimed at this countries Commander In Chief. Perhaps the new attack ( & oh boy, one will be forthcoming) will be about the presidents being born a woman,,or a horse..you can bet your American greenback the new one will be even crazier than the one just laid to rest. progressive Patriots: Take back America now!

SMDrPepper
SMDrPepper

And now the birthers are saying its a fake, just like every other conspiracy theory. FOX even said today that this was a non issue. Especially since Hawaii keeps this version under lock and key. Thats why they use the BC that President Obama shown all this time. He had to hire lawyers to get a waiver to be able to SHOW this thing. Above and beyond he had to go to make sure a conspiracy theory would die off. An yet, it continues. Seriously, how stupid are these people? Trump is the worst of the bunch, using this to simply keep his face out there. Its all just a publicity stunt.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

The only point I am going to respectfully disagree with you on is that this is not like "every"conspiracy theory. There are many conspiracy theories that are supported by circumstantial evidence.

For example, a U.S. congressional committee once concluded that JFK was likely killed as a result of a conspiracy, and that the lone gunman tale aka the official explanation was not likely true. This is actually a part of the U.S. Congressional record.

The birthers are bigots and racists looking to delegitimize the POTUS.

Jack Servedio
Jack Servedio

Superb article. Well done Brandon, well done.

Pgharris
Pgharris

Obama should have came up with it a long time ago . Anybody got a good reason why he didn't ? ( note : I said good reason )

Grammar Police
Grammar Police

Because people who say, "should have came," are soooo far beneath his notice that he didn't even hear you (and yours) asking.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

PigHarris:

Hey Dipshit: The POTUS "did" release his short form birth certificate several years ago. In any courtroom in the United States, the short form is considered prima facie evidence of the live birth. Do you know what prima facie evidence means? Let me give you an example.

Your post above is prima facie evidence of your palpable stupidity.

Diogenes6670
Diogenes6670

You quite obviously either did not read the article you commented on, or else you didn't understand it. The President simply waited until he could, by releasing the certificate at the most opportune moment, silence the most rabid, most vocal, most annoying "birther" out there, since most of the visible Republican politicians had already abandoned this line of attack. You'll recall that, just the day before, Trump told Anderson Cooper "“Well I’ve been told very recently, Anderson, that the birth certificate is missing. I’ve been told that it’s not there or it doesn’t exist." Well, there you have it . . . a very, very good reason why the President didn't release the certificate sooner. Why would anyone in their right mind support Trump for anything?

Joeattw
Joeattw

If the president was white this would be a non issue. You people get on my nerves. This has nothing to do with anything except the president is African American and it has been eating at you bigots ever since he was elected. You have had over 200 years of control and look at it! I am so sick of this same old empty wagon going down the street empty and making noise. Get over your selves.

Bbrkng
Bbrkng

And I get so sick and tired of people using the race card..that too is very old. This has nothing to do with race but origin of birth and Federal Law. Let Arnold try to run for President and see if its just a African American thing. The bigots of today are not white...Rev Al and Jesse are good examples.

Virgil Starkwell
Virgil Starkwell

The POTUS released the short form birth certificate several years ago. This is the form that all Hawaiians receive after birth and if you want the long form, you actually have to apply for an exemption in the law. (Which is what the President did through his attorney).

The short form, which once again was released several years ago, is prima facie evidence of the birth. This has been explained and published an infinite number of times over the last several years, but it still doesn't seem to penetrate the brains of white trash.

And that is one of the major unwritten and unspoken problems our nation faces today: Too much ignorant white trash.

Bbrkng
Bbrkng

Political correctness did not exist in the early sixties so Negroes were still Negroes. African is a geographic location, not a race; there are caucasion Africans too. I will bet good money that on every other birth certificate in Hawaii in 1961, if the child was half black, the parent's race is listed as Negro.· They may call it a scatological contribution to the environment by an essential species but I think it smells a lot like bullshit!

blahblah
blahblah

zero comments. surprise.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places Broward / Palm Beach

    Voice Places

    Find everything you're looking for in your city

  • Happy Hour App

    Happy Hour App

    Find the best happy hour deals in your city

  • Daily Deals

    Daily Deals

    Get today's exclusive deals at savings of anywhere from 50-90%

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    Check out the hottest list of places and things to do around your city