Sun Sentinel: Child Molesters are Hilarious
|It's not funny, sir.|
BARBARA HIJEK has spent the best years of her life doing news research in Florida, the most news-warpy place in the universe. She's still passed all her drug tests and remains Prozac free. Barbara graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in her hometown. Talk about culture shock! She is single and has lived in Fort Lauderdale for the past decade. Prior to that Barbara lived in Clearwater for a dozen years. Truly a bicoastal Floridian. And she still can't figure out which coast is wackier...
Not really an appropriate venue in which to discuss the systematic exposure to extreme risk of a nine-year-old girl by her parents, or of the many potential rapes which may have resulted. Sure, Hijek tried to play it straight in the reportage, but she also tried to keep things light and fun. She began:
This is FloriDUH post #1,435.
That's a lot of lame-brained Floridians for FloriDUH fodder.
We had thought we had heard it all -- until now.
This is a hard one to comprehend.
You can kind of gauge the Sentinel's respect for its readers' attention spans from the length of the above paragraphs, don't you think? Well, they've underestimated 'em this time. "FloriDUH? Seriously?!" wrote one commenter: "This is a barbaric crime, not a 'duh' misstep." Another: "why is this under floriduh and wacky news? ... sun-sentinel, you have a way with words...sorry excuse for a newspaper."
Follow The Juice on Twitter: @ TheJuiceBPB.