For $1 Million, Elton John Will Stop Acting So Gay and Sing Songs to Rush Limbaugh

Flickr: muri-L

​Security was tight this weekend at Rush Limbaugh's Palm Beach nuptials, where only good (heterosexual conservative) hard-working (plutocrat) Americans like Sean Hannity and Karl Rove were on the guestlist. An exception was made, however, for a gay man named Elton John with the condition that he play the piano, sing real pretty, and absolutely not make out with any dudes during the ceremony.

For this, Sir Elton was paid an even $1 million.

John is an activist for gay marriage; Limbaugh ridicules it and the rest of the gay civil rights movement. By participating in this way, John advances an argument that's implicit in Limbaugh's diatribes against gay rights: that gay people are welcome to sing at weddings, to plan them and cater them and attend them. They just can't legally have weddings themselves.