Rothstein's Reach, Remembering the Fallen, and Vodka Eyeballing

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renatowatches.com
Merling

​The photo above is more evidence that there's not a better town in the world to play that Kevin Bacon six degrees of separation game than Broward. It's Phillip Merling, who was arrested last week on charges of hitting his pregnant girlfriend, holding a Renato watch.

You remember who owned a large piece of Renato Watches, our old friend Scott Rothstein, who is scheduled to be sentenced on June 9 (my over-under is still 25 years). He owned it along with his buddy Ovi Levy and another fellow called Daniel Mink. When Rothstein became a major sponsor of the Miami Dolphins, he gained access to the locker room and had the players and coaches pose with the watches.

Click here to see the Renato-Dolphins photo gallery, which includes head coach Tony Sparano, Kim Bokamper, and Ronnie Brown with Renatos. 

Today, though, isn't supposed to be about the NFL's corporate whoredom; it's about remembering the men and women who have fought and died for our country. No, we're not talking about ambushing boats full of aid activists and killing them. We're talking about soldiers fighting in wars to protect our freedoms (I know that definition disqualifies several of our more recent wars, but it's not the brave and suffering soldiers' fault that our leaders can be total dickweeds).

And we're talking about freedoms like vodka eyeballing. The Sun-Sentinel just publicized this "dangerous new fad" and quoted an ophthalmologist about the damage it can do. It is what is sounds like -- pouring vodka into one's eye -- either from a shot glass or straight out of the bottle. From the Sentinel: "Teens claim it gets them drunk quicker. Yes teens."

Here's the thing -- it's totally fake. Sure a fool here or there occasionally does it, but it's no "fad" and never will be. It of course doesn't really get you (much) drunker, and it hurts like the billy-o. Think about it -- you're pouring alcohol in your eye. It makes no sense, and now, thanks to the Sentinel and other silly newspapers across the country, more teenagers will try it. Once. Then never do it again. For a rather amusing video of someone demonstrating the (non)practice, hit the jump.


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