Oil-induced Tourism Slump: No Match for our Pun-tastic Slogans
|Flickr: [ jeremy ]|
|Yes, yes. Love that beautiful Florida beach.|
Although the April 20 catastrophe has already released 6 million gallons of oil into the Gulf, our beaches remain mostly pristine--but Mr. and Mrs. New Jersey Snowbird don't exactly "get" that. As a result, Gov. Crist called for $35 million from BP to kickstart a tourism campaign to promote our clean beaches. BP pledged to part with $25 million, but today Senator-hopeful Kendrick Meek said nuh-uh: $100 million, please.
With scientists predicting that oil from the spill is going to boomerang up Florida's Atlantic coast via a loop current, we need to get cracking on that tourism campaign. And though by "we," I meant Florida's tourism department, the responsibility naturally falls upon The Juice. See our top five picks for anti-oil campaign slogans, after the jump:
5. "Oil spill? No, someone just dropped their glass of Kahlua. You're not square, right?!"
4. "Petroleum? I hardly know him!"
3. "What's the only oil on the beaches? Suntan oil. VISIT Florida does not condone the use of skin cancer-causing agents."***
2. "Don't worry: This was crude oil. Only the most refined fuel can penetrate the private beaches of the Breakers."
1. "Florida Beaches: Where the people are slick, the sunscreen's never greasy, and the waves will fuel your afternoon fun."
***Actually, David Halstead, director of the Florida Division of Emergency Management, really did debut this line during a news conference. Sadly, he did not say the italicized portion. SPF, guys. SPF.