Spirit Airlines Baggage Fee Provides Excuse for Nude Air Travel

Flickr: Shirley Two Feathers

Is this a glimpse into the future of Spirit Airlines?

​We already know that Miramar-based Spirit Airlines caters to cheapskates. And we also know that its advertisements and promotions cater to customers who enjoy sexual innuendo. So maybe it's inevitable that the company would find a lucrative way to merge these two facets of its business.

In this article about Spirit's plans to charge its passengers for checking baggage, you can hear the idea slowly taking shape in the marketing mind of CEO Ben Baldanza.

The writer points out to Baldanza that the fee would hit all passengers -- except for those headed for nudist resorts.
The article from AOL news:

Although Baldanza says the benefits of the new policy haven't been properly explained to consumers, he dismisses the idea that nude resorts are going to pick up all sorts of new guests as "a joke and kind of funny."

That's how it starts with this guy. He's already imagining a commercial in which a Spirit Air cabin looks like a Turkish bathhouse -- or maybe like a sultan's harem. For loyal Spirit customers, all that skin would make the baggage fee easier to bear. (No pun intended.)

Not to ruin Baldanza's fun, but wouldn't baggage fees have the opposite effect? Since they're charging you for a suitcase, a thrifty and clever traveler would wear every single article of clothing in his suitcase, then waddle into his seat for a sweaty, suffocating ride to his destination. And I'm afraid there's nothing sexy about that scenario. Rather, it sounds like a predicament for Mr. Bean.

That bloke would make an excellent Spirit passenger. In fact, he already has a coat that will make it unnecessary for him to buy one of those expensive in-flight meals.